Crumbs

Why I Don't Wear Gym Clothes To School

2011-04-25T13:21:00.000-07:00

I'm jobless. Well, not exactly, I'm raising my boys, blah, blah, blah..(which if I were a paid nanny, I'd totally be fired for being lazy). I coast at my "job." The first thing I think of is "how can I get coffee into me faster" and then I think "I wish I could go for a run right now all alone without having to do anything for anyone else." And then, even though I LOVE my kids immensely, I'm always plotting ways to get away from them or to get them to take naps or go to bed. It's like a habit now, an artful balance between keeping everyone going with the least amount of work required. Having relatively low standards is helpful. I can go to bed with dishes in the sink...and on the dining room table.

Honestly, I know I'm amazingly privileged. How many people wish they didn't have to work and could spend time doing the things they love, playing with their kids or doing nothing at all but surf the web? Everyone. Well, for a few years, I get to do that. The price? Being the official First Responder to 3am bedwetting and my toddler's "The Toy". Done. Don't get me wrong - I ADORE witnessing my youngest's exponential learning curve and being read to for the first time by my older boy. I love the soccer games and playgrounds and easter egg hunts and rock skipping and team photos and piano practice and cuddling and all those delicious experiences mothers enjoy. But I also love the open schedule that having 1 in Kindergarten and 1 who naps allows. Could I better use my time? Absolutely! But then I might miss out on this precious time to do nothing in the middle of the day - when no one is watching or waiting; kind of like at college. I know it won't be forever...just when they are young. Supposed to graduate sometime, right?

Like when my eldest was 4, I went back to work. I baked in a cupcake shop, waking up at absurd hours so I could be home by 1 to pick him up from preschool and enjoy the day with him. I'd like to say it was hard to get back into the demand of work & home, but it wasn't. I was ready to be productive again- and have an excuse not to spend 12 hours a day with my boy (it's true! absence DOES make the heart grow fonder). But then after several months, what I thought was impossible, happened: I got pregnant again. Not only did my energy drop from 60 to nothing in 3 seconds, but I threw up so much, it made me stupid. I'm pretty sure my ability to count without using my fingers got flushed down the bakery toilet. I was fired for being an inept employee. Totally. Deserved. (but the 1st trimester's fault). And then the Stay-at-Home-Mom cycle re-started, which is super cool.

But I know it's an indulgence I can enjoy for just another wee chunk of time. What do they say about if you want something done, give it to a busy woman? Yeah, don't give it to me. It's not going to happen. If I'm not on a run at the Y, them I'm sitting in my stinky clothes checking my facebook page (friend of a friend's wedding photos? don't mind if I do!) This stay-at-home mom lifestyle is a luxury my husband has sacrificed for because he knows it's good for the kids, and lord knows, HE doesn't want to spend all day with them!

What's my point? Despite it all, I draw the line at wearing my gym clothes to my son's school because nothing flaunts Privilege like wearing a Dri-Fit tanktop and yoga pants at drop-off. No matter how late I might be or how disheveled, I won't let anyone see me looking like I have plenty of time in the middle of the day to go to the gym. Why? I'm totally embarrassed to look unproductive AND selfish... and I fear my ostentation will goad Karma into taking it all away too soon. Regardless of convenience, no one, especially working moms and dads rushing to get their child to class AND themselves to work on time, needs to go by a lil' pony-tailed chick in a running skirt who's 'Off For a Workout with My Trainer, Emmanuel, and then Mimosas with the Ladies at Lunch'. Of course, that's not what happens, but I want to guarantee it doesn't look like that either. Now, if I actually had a job with non-traditional hours and I had to s-q-e-e-z-e in a quick run at 7:30 am, perhaps I'd feel justified...but I don't, so I'm not. I'm on a sabbatical from the hard, real world. I don't want to rub it in.

Right to the Point

2011-04-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

What's the most efficient use of this blog space and your ~~keen~~ inexplicable interest in my running?

Bullet Point Update

So, without further ado, I'd like to update my wee lil' blog by highlighting all the important info that's been missing the last few months. 'Cause, folks, I'm back.

I not only got my team to cross the finish line in San Antonio Rock & Roll Half Marathon last November, but everyone who kept with the program hit his/her goal time.
Most of us have since run the 3M Half Marathon in January and the Austin Livestrong Half Marathon in February.
I have signed myself up to become a Certified Running Coach with the Road Runners Club of America because ~~those who can't, teach~~ I have a mad love of coaxing people beyond their usual 3 mile run and into the delicious world of Medals-For-Everyone and sucking liquid candy at 9am. Should be certified by Mid-May.
My "baby" is now 18 months and 'full of piss and vinegar' (as my mom would say). That's okay, I can log all the miles I'm chasing him. He does, however, insist on pushing me in the jogging stroller for a while after our runs and that's got to count for something. (I'll try to get a photo of that).
My eldest is in Kindergarten and was simultaneously crushed and humbled when he realized running a 1K race was really, really hard. It's too soon to know if he'll ever want to be my running partner.
I am 4 months in to my One Year, One Thousand Mile Challenge with friends and have to cut this blog short to catch up to my amigos.

So, to recap my recap:

Blog Update

Appetite whet Kitchen clean

Double Time: Road to San Antonio

2010-10-16T19:08:00.000-07:00

My father was a military man..well, boy. He lied about being 18 so he could run away from his drunk father and join the Coast Guard. He craved order, fair discipline, and rituals like unloading the dishwasher the moment it finished its cycle.

My mother was...well, the opposite. She was an untamed, fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants, wild-child who would rebel just for the sake of rebelling.

Clearly, it didn't end well. But before their impromptu marriage fell apart, they managed to raise a daughter who sees no point in making the bed every morning, but who tries to do it because that's what you're supposed to do.

Which is exactly why, when I could not find a running group that fit my schedule, I made my own. You see, I need the discipline of a group. I find comfort in knowing that every Friday at 9am I must be ready to help my group tackle the next incremental step on our training schedule - a schedule that I devised. I need the ritual of dropping my 5 year old off at Kindergarten, and zooming down to our meeting spot 20 minutes before the others arrive in order to sap the last bit of baby's on the stairs. I love working on group communication e-mails that offer weekly tips and remind me to practice what I preach. I crave the high that comes from looking down at my watch and reading that we've already done twice the miles than I realized because they melted away in conversation.

Otherwise, there's an awfully strong chance I would say To Hell With It and get stuck at 6 miles. Without others counting on me, I don't push myself as hard as I should; my log book doesn't have as many miles in it (if I'm writing in it at all). Of course, I WANT to run farther and faster, but I can't help but getting distracted by the rest of my life, including that ridiculous voice that says Go on, check Facebook one more time, maybe something fantastic popped up. Or Oh, run tomorrow, today let's drag the kids around a new part of town on a whim despite their protests.

So, for 8 weeks now, 10-15 of us have been on the Road to San Antonio. We're training for the November 14th Rock & Roll Half Marathon that tours the art district, several missions and of course, the Alamo. We started at 5 miles and have worked our way up to 10 so far. Each week, our gang varies slightly according to their schedules, but we have a strong 6 person core group on which the others depend. They all expect me and the baby to be there, ready to talk their ears off (or as I like to think of it, distract them through the miles). And they all apologize profusely if they've missed a run, promising to make it up the next day.

I guess we get along so well because we're have a common bond. We all make our beds...unless, of course, no one is looking.

crumbs of Crumbs

2010-10-16T08:44:00.000-07:00

I've left too many blank pages in my diary. Years have gone by and I've barely written a thing, except to-do lists (of which I only do some). I think of things to document often, though. Every night, really, while I'm cradling baby Graham in the pitch-black, nursing him to sleep. My mind is at its most active then – but he is so sensitive, I don't dare try to write or type. It's as if he knows that he must guarantee his own attention with absurd demands, otherwise, he'd get jipped: the 2nd Child's Self-Preservation Strategy.

Again, it's a case of my child teaching me how to mother: Turn off the lights, silence the room, and just hold him, hold him, hold him. Savor his warmth, and infrequent hiccups, and his sweet moaning songs when his mouth is full. Just stroke that thick strawberry-blond head-of-hair and permit him to dig his fingernails into my belly button. Sit on the simple, floored mattress, propped up by pillows (where did we get so many extra pillows?), waiting for him to give in - fall asleep - too woozy to wonder if he is missing something.

It is during those long zen moments, in which I must remain silent and still - or risk having to start all over - that my mind comes up with all the things I wish I had documented. Because, lord knows, that my mind is a sieve, and barely the large chunks keep from falling through. I've forgotten more in this life than I should have. It's a shame, really, because it's been such a good life. And I'd like my boys to know a little about me before I disintegrate. So, tonight, I chose not to sit in front of the television like I normally do: half watching while carelessly surfing the web. I'm naming a place where I can write a little more. And hopefully, I will. It's on my to-do list.

A break up note

2010-04-16T18:37:00.000-07:00

Dear 6 Mile Run,

I'm over you. I know we've been together every week for the last few months, but I moved on today...to a 7 mile run: something I haven't done in over a year and a half. I'll be working my way up to half-marathon distance soon, because I have a group now, and they'll help me get there just like they helped me leave you behind.

I'll see you again, but just for fun, nothing serious. You can't keep me down forever.

Sincerely,
Crumbs

What doesn't bend, breaks.

2010-03-30T08:43:00.000-07:00

They say, your children teach you how to be a parent; that you can try to force them into your preconceived ideas on what your family should be like, but ultimately, what doesn't bend, breaks.

Even as young as 3 1/2, my 5 year-old boy has had an extraordinary ability to focus on building Lego worlds. Left alone in his room with a 500 piece set, he can assemble the entire thing without a lick of help. This awesomely peaceful time recharges all of us. However, despite his love of long, solitary hours of building, he needs to know I'm still keeping an eye on him....otherwise he launches into brutal, piece-by-piece tutorials that painstakingly teach me how he built his vehicles. When he's caught me ignoring him for too long, he shows no mercy and milks my mommy-guilt like a newborn. Glance away for a millisecond? He starts over.

As a baby/toddler, he could only fall asleep on the move; and the louder the environment, the better. We could (and were motivated) to tote him to parties, to the theater, to restaurants and The Nap Master would sleep....until, of course, we were at home, at night.

This boy has taught me how to be the parent I am. Feel a "class" is about to start? I now know to bathe him in my undivided attention while changing the topic. Won't admit to being tired? There's "a quick errand" in the car we need to run. Doesn't get hurt despite how bad the spill seems? Sure you can climb on the outside of the tube-slide.

How different would life be if my kids had been born in reverse order?

My 5 month old baby refuses to sleep in the car and in a stroller, nor will he doze off if there is any noise or light. Yikes! BUT...he sleeps through the night*. He won't let me nurse him to sleep in front of the TV or con him into a nap by circling the block a few times. Nope. He forces me to take him to my room, and lay him down in dark silence. Then, he'll see me in the morning. Had he been my first child, I would have probably had our family on a strict schedule from the beginning. Then my other one would have been born into an organized household and adapted to it, because that's just how he is. We'd all be well-rested, perky, with bluebirds landing upon our shoulders as our four-part harmonies clear the clouds from the skies.

Then, of course, I never would have learned to love running.

I wouldn't have so desperately strapped him into a stroller and hit the road in attempt to get him to sleep. Had I not already experience the joy that comes after the first 6 sucky weeks of getting back into shape, I wouldn't have gotten my butt out the door a second time because this baby HATES the stroller. My parenting arsenal wouldn't have included "attitude adjustment" runs - the kind that inspired my boy to say (when he was old enough to form his own thoughts):"Mommy, you're nicer after you run." I wouldn't have met my best friend Kelly during marathon training, or seen the sun rise from the Biscayne Bridge, or eaten at Amy's Ice Cream 3 days in a row without guilt. I wouldn't have found that cool stream my boy and I skim rocks in. I wouldn't have traded in wine for my new favorite drug: runner's high. (Okay, maybe "supplemented" would have been more appropriate).

How different would it have been? Well, my first-born inadvertently made me a runner, and being a runner makes me a better mom to my kids. So, I guess all those sleepless nights were worth it. It's not like I could sing well enough to harmonize with the family anyway.

*If you don't count all these sick days recently!

101 in 1001: August 8, 2007 - April 29, 2010

2010-03-05T08:12:00.000-08:00

946 days ago, I posted my 101 in 1001. That's, 101 things I'd like to do in 1001 days. Or, 2 years, 8 months, and 27 days. An eternity, right? Turns out, everyone was right: Time seems to move faster as you get older. Or better yet, "The days are long, but the years are short.*"

That leaves just 55 days until my deadline. Last time I checked had approx 43 out of ~~1001~~ 101 done. Let's see what I've done since then. I've added a few frivolous things, but honestly, I'm most satisfied with "completing" number 4: Have a 2nd child. And although it makes some of the others impossible....totally worth it.

So, to read this, understand that the first phrase is what I need to do, and then if comments are in red, I'm done; if comments are in blue, it's a work in progress.

Now...brown is impossible.

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on your part).

1. ~~Start my own blog and learn the "code."~~
2. ~~Sell a cake I make~~ I don't think I can count my son's school bakesale - Sold Cookies in Dec 07, Sold an actual cake March 08; Got a REAL job as a Baker :)

3. ~~Do a comedic spit take~~ 8/27/07 at Wine Tasting Party - damn that's fun to do
4. ~~Have a 2nd child~~- HOORAH!!!!!! OCT 18, 2010!!!!
5. Speak Spanish well enough that someone thinks it's my first language
6. ~~Make the inside of my car look new again~~ 8/6/07, but I'm sure it will quickly undo itself
7. ~~Visit a college friend~~ saw lots of them at Ben's wedding in July 08
8. Run a half marathon in 2:11:00 -2:15, so close! 11/16/08 = 2:12 DAMN IT!
9. ~~Grow something in my yard and eat it~~ Tomatoes, green beans, bell peppers!! 2009
10. ~~Make Dad happy and become a member of DAR~~ done enough for my tastes
11. Find a doctor I'm comfortable enough that I'll actually see him/her when I'm sick
12. Preserve Dad's journal
13. Fix the dining room chairs and re-cover them - or just move and leave them behind
14. Write and print a children's book
15. Raft a class IV rapid again
16. Write 30 days in a row.
17. Host a dinner party where I actually cook everything
18. Finish an entire pack of Whitening strips (nursing baby now)
19. ~~Go back to place I met my husband~~ totally worth it
20. Visit (out of state) Mom 3 times per year. Oct 07, May 08, Oct 08 - well, I've seen her 2x per year. Not TOO bad.
21. Take husband on picnic, with food he'd actually like
22. ~~Do a 5K in less than 9 minutes per mile~~ Tax Run 08 in 27:30 WHILE PUSHING 45 lb KID IN STROLLER ON A WINDY DAY!!!!!! HOORAH!
23. Get wedding album professionally printed
24. ~~Finish a book that has nothing to do with parenting~~ "C.C. Pyle's Amazing Foot Race" by Geoff Williams (and I will never complain about a training run again)
25. ~~Create slideshow/movie for Brother's wedding~~may 08
26. ~~Spend time alone with each of my 3 sister-in-laws~~Oct, Thanksgiving, x-mas -that's enough
27. ~~Complete Stand up For Kids training and volunteer at least 5 times with youth.~~moved - must replace this with something
28. ~~Go 7 days without dessert~~. Made it 3 days....damn hard for a baker to do; On day 4, thanks to the Master Cleanse (June 11); ">I think it's impossible! Hoorah for Morning Sickness! 21 days, no problem! ;) March 09
29. See a live taping of John Stewart's Daily Show - I wish....someday
30. ~~Take Mom on Vacation~~ I'm counting her getting coming to visit at baby's birth
31. Take Mom to bury her mother's ashes. can't get mom to leave her house
32. Teach son to throw a pot on a a potter's wheel Started Nov 07, 2 1/2 is a bit too young
33. Do to a dermatologist to check out "freckles"
34. Write my will. We're mostly done
35. ~~Take the family camping where there aren't alligators or crocodiles~~ Took boy to my old camp in VA and slept in a cabin...that's as close as I can get for now
36. Learn the difference between wine grapes
37. Teach husband how to put the car seat in his car Totally and Utterly a losing battle
38. Make a hat
39. ~~Get a bikini wax (yikes!)~~ 5/12/08 not as bad as I feared
40. ~~Figure out our health insurance (real) costs~~ been trying, but it seems to keep changing
41. ~~Sell something on Ebay~~ June 1, 08!
42. ~~Visit Eugene, Oregon with family~~ In July 08- boy even got to go to the Country Fair and roam with real-live hippies :)
43. Throw a party for Mom
44. Beat husband at a game of Scrabble
45. ~~Finish the NY Sunday Crossword without help~~ 8/5/07All but a few spaces, that's as good as it's ever going to get!
46. ~~Clean the blue room~~ 9/15/07
47. ~~Organize a midnight 10 miler~~ while it wasn't 10 miles, I organized a 5 mile Hash Run and hope to continue it bi-monthly - 10 miles would be too unrealistic to gather enough folks for an informal race...and too long to be drinking beer at
48. Edit home videos 3/4 done
49. ~~Edit vacation video for dad~~
50. Carve "casa d" sign
51. ~~Finish before that 64 year old woman in the sprint Triathlon, the one whose killed me twice~~Key Biscayne Sprint Triathlon #3 August 26th, 2007....As I'm getting out of the water, I see her on the beach already, but I catch up. I leave on my bike and get close to the bridge, she blows me away, I start to lose hope. On the last mile of the run, I see her ahead...I muster every last speck of energy and pass her, coming in 3 minutes ahead. I shaved 3 minutes off my last races time. I (barely) beat the woman over twice my age, oh what a proud moment. I later find out she had a really bad day, 6 minutes slower than her usual. It took the gods slowing her down for me to beat her. I'll take it.
52 ~~Make at least one homemade gift for those on my x-mas list~~ between baking and ceramics, I've got this covered 2007
53. Make Mom's house suitable to bring family to stay everytime I go, it gets a little better
54. Host cooking party
55. ~~Host charitable cooking session, preparing meals for others~~
56. ~~Host wine tasting party~~ 8/27/07
57. ~~Deal with "the ring" situation, either come clean about it disappearing or find a brilliant replacement~~ i still feel sick
58. ~~Buy a nice piece of art for home~~ violet alligator - no really, it's beautiful
59. ~~Fix the rocking chair~~ 2007
60. ~~Potty train the boy before he turns 3~~ i think he did all the hard work, though
61. ~~Bring my own bags to the grocery store for at least 15 times in a row, start over if I forget. try to make it a habit~~ ~~day 1: 8/15/07 - going really well~~ Take 2: 8/21/07 September 07
62. Use my bike for transportation any distance under 2 miles, unless weather doesn't permit - until 1001 ends Doing so around 75% of time - times I don't include: the boy throws crazy tantrums getting on bike and "dear god, it's 105 degrees out"
63. ~~Run 600 miles this year~~ (starting 4/22/07 - 4/22/08) 8/15/07 200 miles, 10/10/07 310 miles, 12/16/07 460, 2/4/08 584, February 11th 2008 I reached 601 miles!!!!!!!!! Final Tally for year: 758.25!
64. ~~Oil each of the 5 teak benches/chairs/table we have~~ Jan 08
65. Steam clean the rugs once per year 07 - moved - no longer necessary
66. ~~Liquid fast for 3 days~~ -~~Day 1 of Juice Fast: 8/22/07~~ 36 hours...seemed like a lifetime - June 8, 08
67. ~~Learn to play a song on the accordion~~ I'm counting Happy Birthday
68. ~~Write and record a song on guitar~~ Husbands birthday song
69. ~~Take son to Orlando~~ we only went to Downtown Disney and it was ENOUGH for a 3 year old
70. ~~Run 3 half marathons~~ 11/25/07 Space Coast Half (2:31), 1/27/08 ING Miami (2:29), Ft. Lauderdale A1A 2/17/08 (2:16)
71. Take a 3 day, kid-free vacation with husband 36 hours is the max so far, with an infant now, that's impossible!
72. ~~Take son to volunteer 3 times per year~~ 12/16/07 Bread Delivery, Feb 08 cake delivery; each Thanksgiving, working in parks, etc - very pleased with this
73. ~~Teach son to brush his teeth twice a day~~ harder than first imagined - at the age of 3
74. ~~Track my every cent for a month (keeping all receipts)~~ Wow- I spend like a diva!
75. Have a decent family photo taken
76. Host a haunted house for Halloween
77. Girls weekend at Beach house again - May be tough with the move
78. Type up my prose - turns out, it kind of sucks. not sure I should follow through
79. ~~STOP buying bottled water (except in hurricane situations- and recycle those)~~doing great
80. ~~Calculate how much each of the baked goods I make costs~~ - begun, WOW Vanilla is expensive! Judging by prices, I think I'll stay in the cookie/bread business rather than cakes
81. Use only ONE glass per day at home 1 month in a row why is this so hard!?!?!
82. Make a windchime
83. Donate blood made attempt in Nov 07, but denied for having a cold
84. Sign up to be an organ donor - put in will
85. See the sunrise with husband
86. Learn to rollerblade
87. ~~Reconnect with at least one person from each of my phases of life~~ (~~highschool~~, ~~college~~,~~camp/VA~~, ~~street artist~~, ~~ORC~~) (1/5) Catherine, Tom/Joel, saw J in P-town, Matt S, Mike! - hoorah facebook!
88. Finish tattoo on back you wus.
89. Use my juice machine everyday for 2 weeks
90. ~~Take my son to play in real snow~~ Yea! It snowed in Austin!
91. Send something to Postsecret . -turns out, I can't do it via computer - must actually MAIL something
92. ~~Clean and return borrowed baby supplies to friend for her new baby (before August 28, 2007)~~ 8/26/07 just barely
93. ~~Organize the boy's closet - yikes~~ 9/15/07
94. ~~Sort through baby supplies, would I really use some of that stuff again?~~2007
95. Read something by DeLillo...finish it even
96. ~~Have a campfire in backyard...even when we have power~~ Jan 08
97. Get the Los Angeles City Limits sign from mom's garage - population 1 million
98. ~~Recognize someone famous BEFORE the husband does~~12/07 Saw Cody Gifford - Kathy Lee's son, I recognized him in public because I used to work in the community where they live.
99. ~~Redesign Pantry, making baking supplies for accessible and cleaner~~ September 07
100. ~~Learn to play and perform a song with husband~~ falling slowly "Once"
101. Laugh so hard I pee myself. (hum, really?)

*Anyone know to whom that quote can be attributed?

yep - still runnin'

2010-01-29T16:18:00.000-08:00

one handed typing but i gotta check in to say, yes, this running mama is back!

body has long been healed from my 2nd boy's birth and i'm up to 6 miles...6 slow miles, but that far none-the-less. i can also whip out a 5k in 32 minutes, which is just 4 minutes longer than it was before i was pregnant (gasp!) but i think that has more to do with newly added hills and pushing a giant stroller.

anyhow - my boy is now 3 1/2 months old and i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. i guess it helps that he sleeps pretty well, or rather, well enough. and i can fit into my "fat" jeans, which feels good after being in the same maternity jeans for an eternity. unfortunately, i'm dropping these pounds at a safe and steady rate of 1 lb per week, rather than what i had fantasized: 40 lbs gone by the 1st month with remarkable toning & flexibility achieved by his 2 month appt.

oh well...at least i can run.

pre-preg weight: 134 lbs

current weight: 147 lbs

goal? 125

2009-11-06T11:50:00.000-08:00

3 weeks.

for the record

2009-10-27T17:53:00.000-07:00

Pre-pregnancy weight: 134 lbs

41 weeks preggo weight: 176 lbs

9 days post-partum weight: 157lbs

Goal weight: 130 lbs

Gotta Walk Before I Run.

2009-10-27T17:16:00.000-07:00

Gotta Walk Before I Run.

Turns out, this isn't just a metaphor. Nine days post-partum: My birth went well, no damage to my plumbing, I've been up and moving, well...since giving birth. I delivered at a free standing birth center and was sent home just 6 hours after my boy's arrival - and I was happy to be back in my own bed.

My mother came into town 2 days later. Now, my mother means well, but at 69 years old, her body isn't what it used to be. In fact, she's a wreck. Plagued by manic-depression, she gave up living years ago. Long story short, she can't stand for more 10 minutes, she shakes to much to write, and gets lost going to her mailbox. Frankly, she needs to live in an assisted-living facility, but refuses. What makes it tragic is that she'd rather have a hundred ailments listed on her gravestone than try to take care of herself. This week, I took care of two "infants."

I made her dinner while trying to teach my 2 day old to breastfeed. I helped her buckle her seatbelt after I hooked in my 3 day old into his carseat in order to pick up my 4 1/2 year old from preschool. I unsuccessfully tried to get her to shower while re-diapering my 5 day old.

I'm thankful my birth went well enough that I could keep my family going AND care for my mother. But I'm exhausted. I'm tired and sore and angry that I couldn't take it easy during my son's first week of life. I'm upset that she invited herself into my home for 8 days knowing full well that she couldn't help walk our dog, drive my son to school, help with meals or even clear her own dishes. I'm furious that she came with a runny nose and loud cough - and now my 4 1/2 year old and I have it.

I want to run. I want to strap on my running shoes and refuel with each step. I want to erase my bitterness by sweating it out but I can't. I should have been healing, but I've been up and moving non-stop. After driving my mom to the airport, I'm just now realizing how sore I am. I know I have to walk before I run, but I didn't think walking would be such a challenge. I know it's only been 9 days since a major event - giving birth - but a 20 minute walk shouldn't have been so hard. Maybe I'm just aching because I've lost my mother.

My birth story

2009-10-27T10:21:00.000-07:00

I wrote this down the day after giving birth in order to remember it - and I can't bring myself to re-write it more poetically. My apologies for the blandness.

Baby's Name: Graham
Date of Birth: 10-18-09
Original Due Date: 10-10-09
Weeks Pregnant: 41w1d
Baby’s Weight: 6lbs 12oz (guess he needed that extra time)
Baby’s Height: 21"

Contractions began Saturday at 5pm, were 10 minutes apart. By 4am, they were 6 minutes apart. I wasn't supposed to go to the Birthing Center until 5 minutes apart, so I thought I'd wait it out in my tub. The tub slowed the contractions back down to 10 minutes. Bummer. I waited till my husband and 4 year old woke up at 8am and had them take me in. Contractions were back to 5 minutes apart and I was dilated 5cm. After laboring through stronger and stronger contractions for 4 more hours, I was devastated to learn I hadn't progressed at all.

I was pretty tired by now - I'd been walking around for nearly 15 hours straight (at least a half marathon, right?) and had so much farther to go.

My midwife said, you can take the hard, faster route or the slow, easier route: let me break your water and bounce you on the birthing ball for some intense contractions or wait it out. I broke down crying at the thought of choosing for it to get harder or been seemingly never-ending.

Before labor, I told my husband that there is going to come a time when I'm going to say that I quit and that I can't go on. I asked him to remind me that I'm strong enough and to help me through it. He totally came through.

She broke my water, manually stretched me from 5cm to 7cm. I bounced on the ball for 20 minutes or so through the intense sensations. "Contractions are only 1 minute - I can survive one minute of this" became my mantra. One step at a time. Even with only a 1 minute "break" in between.

I got into the warm tub, labored for 20 more minutes and felt the urge to push. I was only dilated to 8 or so. Again, my midwife helped manually stretch me and move the rest of my cervix. I pushed for about 20 minutes and out he came! What's remarkable is that from the time I had to chose my path until he was born was only 1 hour, and despite the assisted stretching, I didn't tear at all.

I'm very thankful for a knowledgeable midwife and my supportive husband. It was hard, but we did it and I'm so very happy with my decision to go natural.

thoughts at 39 Weeks and 6 Days Pregnant

2009-10-09T07:47:00.001-07:00

These last 9 months or so have developed a new pattern in our household: I'm usually awoken in the morning by my 4 1/2 year old climbing into bed with me at 7:15, when he rearranges my pillows and blankets so he can lay down and pretend to sleep for 10 minutes; then he gets really close to my face and whispers "I'm ready for my breakfast now."

He's a natural snooze button: the initial wake up, then 10 minutes until his announcement, then he gets up to get his bowl and fill it with cereal giving me about 10 more minutes before I waddle over to pour the milk. The other morning, I woke up long before anyone else and enjoyed the stillness and solitude of dawn, like I used to on my early morning runs...only minus the run. My boy kept up his ritual, but whispering to his dad instead when he realized I was missing. Soon enough, he stumbled upon me in the living room, saying sweetly "When I saw you weren't in bed, I thought you were out running." It was such a lovely reminder that my old routine wouldn't be traumatic to reinstate once the baby is born. I'll adapt to our changing family yet be able to keep the frame of who I am. And it gave me hope that, no, the strains of pregnancy aren't forever - I will become strong and invigorated soon enough. And my family will help me.

flow of thought, in the short time before I meet my new baby

2009-10-09T06:53:00.000-07:00

It's October 9th, one day before (in theory) I'm due to have my 2nd little boy.

I'm trying to enjoy this pregnancy, each movement, and stretch and punch because I don't suspect I'll ever be pregnant again. I really miss the freedom of my own body (and all the vices I have to cover up its faults), but I appreciate the strange sensations and the relative safety/ease of growing someone inside me.

I won't crave pregnancy again once it's done. Last night, I tried to roll over and sit up at the same time and feel like I pulled a muscle in my stomach. My poor husband - the look of terror when I yelped out in pain and couldn't vocalize that I was going to be okay in just a few moments.

I've never been a 'damsel-in-distress' kind of girl, nor have I ever demanded ridiculous things of my husband just because of the baby, so it's nice to lay on the couch this rainy Friday morning, sipping coffee....and take advantage of the fact that it's too dangerous for me to drive my son to school during this monsoon.

Keepin' Austin Weird (5K)

2009-09-12T12:01:00.000-07:00

Oh Blog - What a relationship we have! I think of you often, but never write.

Well, a quick update. I'm 36 weeks pregnant with my 2nd boy and once considered myself a runner - enough so to put a sticker on my car that says "Runner Girl." I love me a good long run. Only, I now define "run" as waddle-waddle-pee break-waddle-waddle-stop. I've gone from 25 miles a week to...uh...well, 2.5 on a good week.

Today, however, my 4 1/2 year old and I trekked out into the pouring rain to get WEIRD! The Keep Austin Weird 5k promised to be "the slowest 5k you'll ever run" and it delivered! I'm a month from giving birth...I felt that qualified as "weird" to see out on the trail.

We started in the back - my boy wanting to run rather than sit in the jogger - and we pretty much stayed there. He splashed through the puddles and I walked slow enough to make sure he didn't follow the rushing water down the street drains. After a mile, he was done and I could start to run. He crawled back into the jogger and we set off of doing 2:1s. While I was far from hitting a PR, we covered the last 2 miles in 27 minutes - nothing fancy, but hey, I'm HUGE and pushing a 48 lb boy in the rain.

Since this was Keep Austin Weird, after all, we switched places the last .1 mile: I sat in the jogging stroller and HE pushed me! I should have thought of that 3 miles ago!!! Overall, it took the two of us (well, 3 of us, technically) 50 minutes to do the 5k and we enjoyed every minute of it!

Now off to take a long, long nap!

24 weeks

2009-06-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

Ah! I need to go for a run!!! It's been 5 long days since I've hit the pavement and I'm going stir-crazy!
BUT my husband is still out of town and I don't have a stroller to take the boy with me.

Might have to convince him to take his bike out with me again...see if he can make it farther than 2.5 miles this time.

This Evening's Spectacle

2009-06-15T13:33:00.000-07:00

This evening's spectacle, down a quiet little neighborhood street:

My 4-year-old boy riding a WAY-TOO-BIG bike recovered from a dumpster whose training wheels screeched like fingernails down a chalkboard; all the while he was ~~growling~~ screaming out car engine sounds and pretending to get blown-out tires.

Next to him: me and my 23 week pregnant belly slogging* along soaked in sweat, chanting "Go Lightning McQueen Go!" or "Peet Stop"** in a really bad Italian accent or "Bring on the confetti!"***

Talk about a circus!

*runningfor3's fabulous term for slow jogging

** Guido anyone?

***Chick...and yes, thanks for asking: We HAVE seen the movie Cars 1084 times.

That song again?

2009-06-12T18:22:00.000-07:00

This morning's run was foiled by the 4am wake-up song:

"Mommy, My Stomach Feels Funn-----[bbllleeeeeuuucchhhhh]."

"Race" Update

2009-06-09T18:09:00.000-07:00

Hello All!

Crumbs here - Back from The Land of Fatigue and Heaving (a.k.a First Trimester) and happily gliding along through Celebration and Energy (well, relatively speaking!). I'm 22 weeks along in my 2nd pregnancy and have a renewed love of ~~running~~ quickly-paced waddling.

I've never been fast, but My Oh My, just 2 months ago it took me 45 minutes to force myself to go 2.5 miles. The agony! All because of this weird addiction that seemed like it was going to promise me relief in my rough months of sickness. Really - food was intolerable. Advil unadvised. And a Mojito with a floater? Highly frowned upon by the masses. I knew I was allowed to run, though. And when I run, I get a Runner's High! Sweet - Hook Me Up. Only, I couldn't really make it through the first mile so easily without getting dizzy and feeling like a 7 year old was taking drum lessons in my head. I guess only being able to force down 500 calories a day meant there wasn't much in the bank for added exercise. This, it seemed, was going to be a very, very long 40 weeks. Weekly milage went from 25 to...well, 3 (or 10, if you count running to the toilet).

Fast forward to this week.

I had slowly reintroduced myself to running over the last 8 weeks - first with the treadmill and then out on the street - week by week adding a little more. I even completed a 5 miler in just 1 minute/per mile slower than pre-pregnancy. HOPE! HOPE, I tell you!

So I signed up for a 5k in my old stomping grounds of South Miami. (I'm back in town for a little while and what better to meet up with old friends than at a race?! It's a fun way to let folks know about the little one, too!) Anyway - I knew I wasn't going to set any records but I couldn't believe that I finished a cool 2 minutes slower than I did last year - right around old running buddies. Just 2 months ago I had lost hope of ever having my runner's high again. But there it was: Baby and Me waddling through at a relaxed pace, waving to familiar faces, enjoying the course, passing the finish line with a smile and energy to spare!

Each day I get bigger.

I know every run won't be that smooth.

BUT it's so comforting to know that, even when I hit rough patches (be it morning sickness or injury or burnout), I'll eventually get my groove back.

Happy Running All!

18 weeks

2009-05-20T11:56:00.000-07:00

18 weeks 4 days

I had my monthly visit with the midwife this morning and was a little bummed to find out I've gained 6 pounds in the last 4 weeks. I thought I was being so good - really aiming for 1lb per week as directed. Apparently, my home scale is a little more lenient than that of the midwife.

However, considering I was so sick the first 3 months and gained next to nothing, 6 lbs total isn't so bad. My midwife put it into perspective, too. She measured me at 2 weeks larger than I should be, which means the baby has grown a lot this month.

Looking down at her chart, she said, "Ooh, your first was 8lbs 3oz! Oh you'll have no trouble with a 9 pounder!" Yikes! Not really what I want to hear! :)

Today's Run

Another cool late-morning meant another great run. I didn't have much time, so I was only out for 30 minutes or so and a quarter mile less than 3 miles. I started really slow, taking walk breaks every 4 minutes, but 15 minutes into it, I didn't want to stop. My pace picked up to a steady 9:50 minute mile (2 minutes faster than my "normal pregnancy" pace) and I'm sure I could have done a couple more if I had time.

18 week run

2009-05-18T11:01:00.000-07:00

18 weeks pregnant

It was 66 degrees this morning and I decided: screw the gym, I'm running outside! It's been a little while since I've actually run off the treadmill, so I was a little worried how my body would handle it. I wrapped a belly belt around my hips (more details later) and hit the trail. I took it easy, running 4:1's, finishing 4 miles in 48 minutes. Looks like that's my pace now, which is fine.

Delicious. Now if I can just do something about the non-stop armpit sweating, I'd really enjoy this trimester. :)

Kids these days

2009-05-10T16:18:00.000-07:00

So, my belly is getting bigger and I realized it's time to get something to wear other than my 3 elastic band skirts that I wear everyday. I headed on over to Old Navy to get me some cheap fashion and what do I see? A whole wall selection of maternity shorts and pants! Sweet - they had the look of style, BUT a big 2 inch elastic-looking band around the top. No problem, a long T-shirt could hide that.

But wait....they weren't stretchy. As my hands pulled at the top, they did not give. THEY WEREN'T maternity! What? What? What? Ugly maternity pants are now in fashion?!?!?

Does that mean my ever expanding waist and thighs are cool, too?

Sweet?

Rescued again!

2009-04-23T11:55:00.001-07:00

14 weeks 6 days pregnant

So, I've got this mysterious green phlegmy illness that only seems to bother me at night and in the morning. I've been pretty high functioning this week, until it was time to take my son to preschool. Blah. That's all I felt. And once I dropped him off, the numbness morphed into apathy and then self-pity. That's when I feel paralyzed; unable to accomplish anything...not even unload the dishwasher. I could only look at the clock and watch the time I had before picking my boy up just vanish. After 2 1/2 hours of wandering the house and snooping at old friend's holiday pictures on Facebook - and only having 1 hour left - I forced myself to put on my running clothes and shoes. I didn't quite have motivation or a plan, but at least I was dressed.

I hoped in my car, and decided to find a place to run. I didn't want any hills, but all the tracks are at schools (thus closed during school hours). So, I figured I'd head down to the YMCA, where I could fit in 35 minutes of treadmill time. Blah.

But, I forced myself there, and I forced myself onto the treadmill for just 5 minutes. When 5 minutes was up, I promised myself just 5 minutes more. By then, I felt good and was eager to keep going - even disappointed went he time was up.

Running broke me from the self-loathing phase and paralysis it causes. I'm so glad I forced myself to move.

14 weeks

2009-04-21T18:27:00.000-07:00

14 weeks pregnant

Wahoo! 2nd Trimester! Feeling a bit more secure about the baby's well-being, and my appetite is back!

And I mean BACK.
Breakfast? No problem.
Mid-morning Snack? Sure!
Lunch? Just say when.
Another snack? Why not!
Dinner? Dessert? Count me in.

You know what else is back? My pre-pregnancy weight...plus one or two or three. Not that I don't think weight gain isn't part of the process, but (sick as this may sound) I did enjoy" the "lightness" of food-aversion.

Next topic:

As our kids started to play near each other at a park, a pregnant woman saw me holding my belly and said that we must be around the same week. Ah...I thought - this is going to be embarrassing. I'm 14 weeks, I said, and you? 22, she replied.
Yes, I feel huge.

It's a bummer really. I thought I really worked my abs to get them back to pre-first-born, but apparently, it was all a facade. My stomach said - RELEASE THE TENSION - and every bite of food that goes into my mouth pushes my belly out farther. I guess it's fun, though. Fun to jog around with my gut sticking out of my "Beer Run" dri-fit shirt when I run.

Anyway - this week's workouts so far:

Sunday: short bike ride

Monday: 30 minutes elliptical, 15 min weights/arms, 3 sets of: 20 wall ball, 20lb lift thingy-whose-name-I-have-no-idea.

Tuesday: 3 miles, in a not-very-impressive 12 minute miles.

Soreness: 8 out of 10

By the way....this is what I feel like. (click on image for credit)

13 weeks

2009-04-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

13 weeks now and I see the light at the end of this queasy-regurgitating-exhausting first trimester. I'm down to just dry heaving in the morning but hunger has come back in full force.

I took a class at the Y today - "Pure Strength" - which was more entertaining than I expected. Out of the hope I'd get cues for modification, I told the instructor that I was pregnant and that I may not be able to do everything. "Sure you can - we won't be laying on our stomachs." That made me giggle. She walked away before I could get out that I'm not supposed to lay flat on my back.

Anyway - I aerobicized my little heart out for the hour, self-modifying when needed, and came out comfortably sore.

Of course, I tore into lunch like a vulture at a buffet, but that's an entirely different workout story.

Spontaneous Jog

2009-04-08T12:22:00.001-07:00

Got in a brisk walk today on a rolling trail. I had my running shoes on, but that's the only preparation I had made. I didn't suspect I'd feel good enough to throw some jogging in there.

Dear lord, I miss being flat for the sake of spontaneous runs.

Anyhow - 3.5 miles (1.5 walking, 2 miles jogging) = 50 minutes. Not exactly speedy, but it felt good.

Cravin'!

2009-04-07T09:29:00.000-07:00

12 1/2 weeks pregnant

What a morning! Oh, it's certainly the little things.

I woke up...and get this...I didn't dry heave in the sink. Oh, glorious morning! The lack of my routine demoralizing episodes inspired me to hit the gym with a vengeance!

5 minute crossfit warm up
30 minutes on the elliptical machine keeping heart rate around 130-145
30 minutes of weights: leg curls and pull ups and dips and calf raises and more!

Followed by a WEIRD craving of peanut butter on celery (on celery, I tell you, that's not me).

As if I needed more evidence my body is occupied by another: I made chicken noodle soup for family dinner last night. I guess that's only odd since I've been a vegetarian for, oh, a decade.

My husband and I eat dessert every night, but since I've been pregnant, I can't really tolerate sweet. What have I wanted instead? PROTEIN!!! I've been eating turkey sandwiches and chicken egg rolls like they are going out of style. Making a meat dish for dinner last night was like code to my husband giving him permission to suggest other meat meals for me.

He went in low & dirty, too. He suggested we should have the California Pizza Kitchen BBQ Chicken pizza tonight. He had me at California.

This runner is back!

2009-04-03T09:35:00.000-07:00

Whew! I've taken a long "holiday" from running. The first couple months of pregnancy just wiped me out!!! BUT - I'm back. It started last Sunday at the Capital 10K in downtown Austin. It's a HUGE event, so I was certain that I wouldn't be last in...and if I needed to walk, I'd be just fine.
My 4 year old boy and I participated - and he was certainly more excited than I was! I hadn't run 6 miles since the first week of January, so I was certainly nervous.
It was PACKED, so there was lots of walking. No problem! My boy wanted to run, too! And pick flowers. And collect rocks and drink at every water station. 1:29:00 My record for longest 10k. That's okay. We had a blast - and I shouldn't have entered a race that long after not running anyhow!

I've been out running twice since then. My pace is SLOW, but I can't blame it all on the wee weed growing in me. Lack of milage is MY fault. But I felt GREAT! After one day, I didn't even need to nap...and went to bed at 11:30pm!

Oh, Running - I've missed you. Thanks for letting me back into your life.

Today's workout - 10 weeks pregnant

2009-03-26T11:49:00.000-07:00

10 weeks (nearly 11)

Today's little workout at the Y was nice. Slow, at my pace with lots of recovery time. Ahh.

Lap Swim

5 x 200, 1 minute rests in between

5 x 5 dead lifts 70lb

14lb faux kettle ball swings 40

supported squats 20 - 50lbs

20 pushups on knees

I had enough energy to figure out how to change my tail light on my car, too. God bless the internet - saved me $40 and time.

What a relief!

2009-03-25T16:28:00.000-07:00

Despite throwing up twice a day, farting like Hot-Dog Eating Contest Winner, and sleeping more than my dog, I've been nervous about this pregnancy. Mostly, I have feared that the baby stopped growing but my body didn't realize it.

My fears were calmed this morning. I had my first full exam with my midwife and she brought out the Fetal Doppler. I heard the baby's heartbeat today. Ahhh. I know I'm not out of the danger zone, but I feel like I can tell folks now.

Synchronized Swimming

2009-03-24T09:47:00.000-07:00

So I'm back to swimming. Done with weights (for now) and back to my second favorite pastime: swimming. For a while there, I was in the pool 3 times a week swimming strong for an hour. But that was pre-pregnancy. Actually, that was pre-Austin. Not since last August have I jumped into a pool strictly for laps. And although my endurance has slipped, I'm comfortable going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth for a little while. Today, I swam 25 minutes, 5 x 200 meters with 1 minute breaks and treaded water for 5 minutes.

I suspect, I'll be in there a bunch as my baby grows.

We'll be a team. Our own little synchronized swimming team.

*Awesome photo from John Carleton's Flickr account, from random google image search - sadly, it's not me.

Break up

2009-03-23T09:12:00.000-07:00

I've broken up with my trainer.

It's not you, it's me.

It's the fact that, after a one hour CrossFit session, I must take a 2 hour nap;

that I have nightmares about being so exhausted that I can't even wake up to go;

that I fear throwing up in the parking lot again;

that I have to force myself to eat at least 1000 calories...I can't afford to burn many of them;

that I feel horrific that I can only down my prenatal vitamin 3 times a week at most.

This first trimester either much more difficult than my first, or it was so long ago, I simply forgot.

I told him I'd come back in a month, when this phase has passed. Until then, I'll keep walking, and I'll take advantage of the pool at the Y. But no more weight lifting for now.

today's "Workout"

2009-03-18T06:24:00.000-07:00

Today's CrossFit workout

6:30am

warmup

4 rounds of:

Kettle ball Cleans 22lbs - 20 alternating each arm

20 Jump lunges

20 Pushups -start on toes, go to knees when have to

Row for 20 calories (approx 1:41 seconds)

Walk 400 meters

Started very strong, just resting 30 seconds in between each set; 3rd round had to take longer breaks in between. Thankfully, the walk was outside and mostly in the dark because I had to throw up for about 4 minutes. Embarrassingly enough, someone in the group saw me and later sent out a search party when I was gone for 5 minutes. :)

This is a growing list I like to call...

2009-03-14T17:26:00.000-07:00

Public Places I have Thrown Up In Since Becoming Pregnant:

Mexican Restaurant bathroom
Thai Restaurant bathroom
Japanese Restaurant bathroom
My son's school...in a church...just barely made it to the bathroom.
My front yard
Neighborhood park, by the treeline.

Weight, that's not right!

2009-03-14T12:58:00.001-07:00

9 weeks:

I'm officially 5 pounds lighter than before I got pregnant.

This same time last pregnancy, I was 10 pounds heavier.

Not a diet I recommend, though.

This morning's workout

2009-03-11T05:46:00.000-07:00

CrossFit workout - 8 1/2 weeks pregnant

Warmup

5 rounds:
5 Push Press with 55lb bar
3 full hang pull ups (purple band)

4 rounds:

150 single jump rope

5 burpee

15 kettle ball swings (12)

2 1-minute plank

Summery: Felt good, despite being late to the gym. The Push press uses more abs then I remember and felt a little weird. Pull ups, no problem - especially with the purple band.

Took 1 minute in between rounds just after doing the kettle ball.

Plank wasn't a problem.

Feel good, but I know I'll be tired very soon. Kind of queasy, should eat.

On the bright side, more time to nap!

2009-03-07T15:08:00.000-08:00

Sweet. I'm finally a part of this hot group all the newscasters are calling "The Unemployed."

Only, I wasn't downsized. I was fired for being really bad at my job.

I've never been fired before. It was a long time coming though- totally deserved it.

Alas, my dream to be a baker has ended. Oh well. Can't say morning sickness induced vomiting between making batters was enjoyable. Uh...and cleaning the sink after all the buttercreams - makes me queasy thinking of it.

Oh, well. Off to stand in line for bread.

Today's "Workout"

2009-03-06T05:42:00.001-08:00

This morning, I dragged my butt out of bed at 6:15 to get to the gym. I might add, that it is literally a 2 minute walk from my house....and I've paid for this month already, so I have to go. Because I'm cheap like that.

After the warm up, here was my CrossFit workout:

5 sets

3 Dead Lifts at 95lbs

O-ring lifted knee hangs for 15 seconds

3 sets 90 seconds on/30 seconds off:

Boxing

Burpees with medicine ball

Seated sideways wall ball

The first round was easy, off course, I didn't really push my weight at all. But I was surprised at how easy the hangs were. The second round? Totally different story. Where as 3 months ago, I could have easily done 80 wall ball throws in 90 seconds, this morning I eked out 30-40.

Part caution, part exhaustion, part "i-don't-wan't-to-puke-here-on-the-gym-floor", this workout was pretty half-assed.

All Day Sickness strikes again!

2009-03-05T05:55:00.000-08:00

Wednesday morning is usually my CrossFit morning, but starting Tuesday night at dinnertime, my body revolted to any idea other than laying down. I had to skip dinner and go straight to bed at 7pm. Not only did I sleep through my workout, I dropped my son off at preschool at 8:30am, then came back to sleep until pickup at 12:15. I forced down some food then came back and napped 3 hours with him. Back in bed by 9pm.

Today is better...so far. I can stomach a little black tea. And might get out for a little jog/walk.

I'll probably nap though. I have to take advantage of these days off from work. :)

another dream

2009-03-03T17:39:00.000-08:00

I was on some sort of a military base in the desert, running though these open airplane hangers with two other people. We were being chased and shot at by our own people. We made it out of a hanger and were running through the hot sand, and we all dove into a small sandy ditch to escape fire. Our only hope was to bury ourselves in the sand to hide from the gunmen.

I laid on my back, desperately covering myself with sand - trying to remain still and not let my breathing show.

I woke up and took a huge gasping breath, still feeling the weight of the sand on my chest.

Evening Jog

2009-03-02T16:14:00.000-08:00

(7 weeks)

Took an easy jog through my hilly neighborhood today. First time in a two weeks.

Man, I needed that. I need to keep running. Getting out there seems impossible, but once my feet start getting the rhythm, I'm happy.

I took it super easy, doing 3:1 intervals for just 26 minutes and 2.2 miles - just to make sure I could get out there again. I could have gone longer, possibly quicker, but I didn't want to take a chance since it's been so long.

CrossFit on Wednesday.

Pregnancy Dreams

2009-03-01T13:07:00.001-08:00

I had kind of forgotten how crisp, crazy and memorable my dreams are when pregnant. Though I haven't really been dreaming about running or exercise, they are certainly bizarre!

Here is a sample:

I was in a theater performing improve/prop comedy while in the audience. Then for Act II, I was in an ensemble of actors who were all tiny and I was supposed to wear a Tinkerbell costume, but I couldn't find it anywhere backstage. I went through box after box searching, but never found it.

I was in my street, in my car, and the wind began to blow - harder and harder and harder - until it was visible and it suddenly iced over the entire street and neighborhood. I was stuck in my car on a small raised patch of pavement that was untouched by the weather.

I have a feeling this will become a regular posting topic.

The Truth About Exercising While Pregnant

2009-02-27T08:36:00.000-08:00

Honestly, it isn't the workout that is tough. I become invigorated once I've begun....but I'm going to have to take a 2 hour nap later in the day - even if it means putting on Noggin for the boy so I can drool on the rug- or face down on the kitchen table.

Today's CrossFit:

Warmup & 300 meter row

4 Rounds of:

:30 on/:30 off Row for 3 minutes at fastest pace (me: 1:55 minutes/500 meter) =410-450 meters

15/12/9/6 Low Ring Pushups

15/12/9/6 Sit ups on crazy hanging contraption. (sure - it probably has another name).

Overview: Holy crap, I'm winded quickly! Took up to 2 minute breaks in between stations.

Then again, I think puking up my entire dinner last night and doing a 6:30 am workout on an empty tank probably wasn't the best way to reach my full potential. :)

Today's workout

2009-02-25T08:36:00.000-08:00

CrossFit Workout - 45 minutes

warmups & 300 row

5 rounds of:

4/4 Mixed hand position pull ups using purple band

8/8 20lb dip-press single arm

12/12 lunge with back leg on bench

4 rounds Tabata (20 seconds on:10 seconds off):

opposite crunches

plank crunches

3 isolation rounds:

8 (30lb) bar bicep curl

8 rubber band press- triceps

stretching

Summery:

Week six in pregnancy: Tough on the muscles, but heart rate stayed in a reasonable range. Had to force a banana and peanut butter down before hand because I was feeling so nauseated. Felt perfectly normal throughout workout, but feel a little queasy again now afterward. Maybe a smoothie will stay down? It's amazing that I feel so good while working out, but so terrible all other times!

I'm Back!

2009-02-25T07:26:00.000-08:00

I have the advanced sense of smell of a wolf.

The thought of coffee makes me gag.

I'm peeing every 15 minutes.

I can't stomach more than a couple bites at a time.

My "slow run" pace can be considered a sprint.

I nap every day at 2:30 whether I should or not.

EVERY commercial makes me cry.

Yep - I'm pregnant (almost 7 weeks).

Very excited, very sick.

But - I'm still doing a CrossFit workout 2x a week and trying to get a run in at least once a week. I'm here to document my experience.

Confessions of a Baker Runner

2008-11-12T09:28:00.001-08:00

When my child was born, I discovered that I didn't have to fight in the corporate world any longer and I could do what I enjoyed: Baking (hence the pen-name). I've mostly been a black-market baker, baking and selling out of my home kitchen, but I've also worked in a cafe. I have a less-than-healthy relationship with Sugar, Flour and, most of all, Butter. As I always say: I love baking, so I've learned how to love running.

Now that I've settled into a new town, I don't have the connections I once did. Besides, baking in my rental home with an inconsistent oven is much more difficult. So, I've found a proper job in a proper kitchen.

Here's where reality has turned itself on its head. Now, it's no longer "I love baking, so I've learned to love running." Now it's, "I love running and is baking going to get in the way of this?"

Now that I'll be working out of the home for 4 days, in the wee-running-hours-of-the-morning, will I be able to keep up with my training, have enough energy for my 3 1/2 year old,...oh, and remember what my husband looks like? Do you see how crazy my priorities are?!? I'm actually trying to figure out if I'll have enough time to commute to work on foot.

I'm a ~~cookie~~ monster!!!

New Town - New Look - Same Dullness

2008-11-11T21:52:00.000-08:00

After a few months on not posting here (instead only here), I'm starting over with a new look.

Sweet.

Twitter

2008-11-11T14:30:00.000-08:00

I've added twitter...really so I can log my workouts better.

Because I'm enjoy tracking them more than I should.... especially for a middle of the packer.

Don't expect wit.

Then again, I might actually say more if I'm restricted to just a few words.

Ta ta

101 in 1001 - An Update

2008-11-10T06:38:00.000-08:00

Okay - It's been nearly 500 days now since I posted my 101 in 1001. I've crossed quite a few off, also realized that I was getting kind of desperate to come up with things while making the list (see #38). So, to read this, understand that the first phrase is what I need to do, and then if comments are in red, I'm done; if comments are in blue, it's a work in progress.

Turns out I've got approx 43 out of ~~1001~~ 101 done. Some seem impossible (see #15, 28, 37), some impractical (see #29,32, 53) and others I need to get a move on it (see# 4, 71, 77, 85).

Of course, I think this list would look entirely different if written today. I'd probably still have #3 on there, though.

b>The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on your part).

1. ~~Start my own blog and learn the "code."~~
2. ~~Sell a cake I make~~ I don't think I can count my son's school bakesale - Sold Cookies in Dec 07, Sold an actual cake March 08; Got a REAL job as a Baker :)

3. ~~Do a comedic spit take~~ 8/27/07 at Wine Tasting Party - damn that's fun to do
4. Have a 2nd child- en route
5. Speak Spanish well enough that someone thinks it's my first language
6. ~~Make the inside of my car look new again~~ 8/6/07, but I'm sure it will quickly undo itself
7. ~~Visit a college friend~~ saw lots of them at Ben's wedding in July 08
8. Run a half marathon in 2:11:00 -2:15, so close! 11/16/08 = 2:12 DAMN IT!
9. Grow something in my yard and eat it Been growing basil & rosemary, but I don't think I should count them
10. ~~Make Dad happy and become a member of DAR~~ done enough for my tastes
11. Find a doctor I'm comfortable enough that I'll actually see him/her when I'm sick
12. Preserve Dad's journal
13. Fix the dining room chairs and re-cover them - or just move and leave them behind
14. Write and print a children's book
15. Raft a class IV rapid again
16. Write 30 days in a row.
17. Host a dinner party where I actually cook everything
18. Finish an entire pack of Whitening strips
19. ~~Go back to place I met my husband~~ totally worth it
20. Visit (out of state) Mom 3 times per year. Oct 07, May 08, Oct 08
21. Take husband on picnic, with food he'd actually like
22. ~~Do a 5K in less than 9 minutes per mile~~ Tax Run 08 in 27:30 WHILE PUSHING 45 lb KID IN STROLLER ON A WINDY DAY!!!!!! HOORAH!
23. Get wedding album professionally printed
24. ~~Finish a book that has nothing to do with parenting~~ "C.C. Pyle's Amazing Foot Race" by Geoff Williams (and I will never complain about a training run again)
25. ~~Create slideshow/movie for Brother's wedding~~may 08
26. ~~Spend time alone with each of my 3 sister-in-laws~~Oct, Thanksgiving, x-mas -that's enough
27. ~~Complete Stand up For Kids training and volunteer at least 5 times with youth.~~moved - must replace this with something
28. ~~Go 7 days without dessert~~. Made it 3 days....damn hard for a baker to do; On day 4, thanks to the Master Cleanse (June 11); I think it's impossible!Hoorah for Morning Sickness! 21 days, no problem! ;) March 09
29. See a live taping of John Stewart's Daily Show
30. Take Mom on Vacation
31. Take Mom to bury her mother's ashes.
32. Teach son to throw a pot on a a potter's wheel Started Nov 07, 2 1/2 is a bit too young
33. Do to a dermatologist to check out "freckles"
34. Write my will. We're mostly done
35. Take the family camping where there aren't alligators or crocodiles
36. Learn the difference between wine grapes
37. Teach husband how to put the car seat in his car Totally and Utterly a losing battle
38. Make a hat
39. ~~Get a bikini wax (yikes!)~~ 5/12/08 not as bad as I feared
40. ~~Figure out our health insurance (real) costs~~ been trying, but it seems to keep changing
41. ~~Sell something on Ebay~~ June 1, 08!
42. ~~Visit Eugene, Oregon with family~~ In July 08- boy even got to go to the Country Fair and roam with real-live hippies :)
43. Throw a party for Mom
44. Beat husband at a game of Scrabble
45. ~~Finish the NY Sunday Crossword without help~~ 8/5/07All but a few spaces, that's as good as it's ever going to get!
46. ~~Clean the blue room~~ 9/15/07
47. ~~Organize a midnight 10 miler~~ while it wasn't 10 miles, I organized a 5 mile Hash Run and hope to continue it bi-monthly - 10 miles would be too unrealistic to gather enough folks for an informal race...and too long to be drinking beer at
48. Edit home videos 3/4 done
49. Edit vacation video for dad
50. Carve "casa d" sign
51. ~~Finish before that 64 year old woman in the sprint Triathlon, the one whose killed me twice~~ Key Biscayne Sprint Triathlon #3 August 26th, 2007....As I'm getting out of the water, I see her on the beach already, but I catch up. I leave on my bike and get close to the bridge, she blows me away, I start to lose hope. On the last mile of the run, I see her ahead...I muster every last speck of energy and pass her, coming in 3 minutes ahead. I shaved 3 minutes off my last races time. I (barely) beat the woman over twice my age, oh what a proud moment. I later find out she had a really bad day, 6 minutes slower than her usual. It took the gods slowing her down for me to beat her. I'll take it.
52 ~~Make at least one homemade gift for those on my x-mas list~~ between baking and ceramics, I've got this covered 2007
53. Make Mom's house suitable to bring family to stay everytime I go, it gets a little better
54. Host cooking party
55. Host charitable cooking session, preparing meals for others
56. ~~Host wine tasting party~~ 8/27/07
57. ~~Deal with "the ring" situation, either come clean about it disappearing or find a brilliant replacement~~ i still feel sick
58. ~~Buy a nice piece of art for home~~ violet alligator - no really, it's beautiful
59. ~~Fix the rocking chair~~ 2007
60. ~~Potty train the boy before he turns 3~~ i think he did all the hard work, though
61. ~~Bring my own bags to the grocery store for at least 15 times in a row, start over if I forget. try to make it a habit~~ ~~day 1: 8/15/07 - going really well~~ Take 2: 8/21/07 September 07
62. Use my bike for transportation any distance under 2 miles, unless weather doesn't permit - until 1001 ends Doing so around 75% of time - times I don't include: the boy throws crazy tantrums getting on bike and "dear god, it's 105 degrees out"
63. ~~Run 600 miles this year~~ (starting 4/22/07 - 4/22/08) 8/15/07 200 miles, 10/10/07 310 miles, 12/16/07 460, 2/4/08 584, February 11th 2008 I reached 601 miles!!!!!!!!! Final Tally for year: 758.25!
64. ~~Oil each of the 5 teak benches/chairs/table we have~~ Jan 08
65. Steam clean the rugs once per year 07
66. ~~Liquid fast for 3 days~~ -~~Day 1 of Juice Fast: 8/22/07~~ 36 hours...seemed like a lifetime - June 8, 08
67. ~~Learn to play a song on the accordion~~ I'm counting Happy Birthday
68. Write and record a song on guitar
69. ~~Take son to Orlando~~ we only went to Downtown Disney and it was ENOUGH for a 3 year old
70. ~~Run 3 half marathons~~ 11/25/07 Space Coast Half (2:31), 1/27/08 ING Miami (2:29), Ft. Lauderdale A1A 2/17/08 (2:16)
71. Take a 3 day, kid-free vacation with husband
72. Take son to volunteer 3 times per year 12/16/07 Bread Delivery, Feb 08 cake delivery
73. ~~Teach son to brush his teeth twice a day~~ harder than first imagined - at the age of 3
74. ~~Track my every cent for a month (keeping all receipts)~~ Wow- I spend like a diva!
75. Have a decent family photo taken
76. Host a haunted house for Halloween
77. Girls weekend at Beach house again - May be tough with the move
78. Type up my prose - turns out, it kind of sucks. not sure I should follow through
79. ~~STOP buying bottled water (except in hurricane situations- and recycle those)~~doing great
80. ~~Calculate how much each of the baked goods I make costs~~ - begun, WOW Vanilla is expensive! Judging by prices, I think I'll stay in the cookie/bread business rather than cakes
81. Use only ONE glass per day at home 1 month in a row why is this so hard!?!?!
82. Make a windchime
83. Donate blood made attempt in Nov 07, but denied for having a cold
84. Sign up to be an organ donor - put in will
85. See the sunrise with husband
86. Learn to rollerblade
87. ~~Reconnect with at least one person from each of my phases of life~~ (~~highschool~~, ~~college~~, ~~camp/VA~~, ~~street artist~~, ~~ORC~~) (1/5) Catherine, Tom/Joel, saw J in P-town, Matt S, Mike! - hoorah facebook!
88. Finish tattoo on back you wus.
89. Use my juice machine everyday for 2 weeks
90. Take my son to play in real snow
91. Send something to Postsecret . -turns out, I can't do it via computer - must actually MAIL something
92. ~~Clean and return borrowed baby supplies to friend for her new baby (before August 28, 2007)~~ 8/26/07 just barely
93. ~~Organize the boy's closet - yikes~~ 9/15/07
94. ~~Sort through baby supplies, would I really use some of that stuff again?~~2007
95. Read something by DeLillo...finish it even
96. ~~Have a campfire in backyard...even when we have power~~ Jan 08
97. Get the Los Angeles City Limits sign from mom's garage - population 1 million
98. ~~Recognize someone famous BEFORE the husband does~~12/07 Saw Cody Gifford - Kathy Lee's son, I recognized him in public because I used to work in the community where they live.
99. ~~Redesign Pantry, making baking supplies for accessible and cleaner~~ September 07
100. ~~Learn to play and perform a song with husband~~ falling slowly "Once"
101. Laugh so hard I pee myself. (hum, really?)

Really? You break your Blogging Fast with this?

2008-11-06T14:08:00.000-08:00

I'm in a new town and job hunting on Craig's List. This is by far my favorite posting. I mean, what is this? A joke? A movie casting call? Renegade bank robbers? A-Coup-Team? I don't care! I want to be a part of it!

Need a few good men ( NOT MARINES) (austin and beyond!!!)

Reply to: gigs-907522802@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-05, 8:07PM CST

Looking for a few good men or women to complete action/rescue/adventure team. Must be a team player and have skills. NO AMATURES!! We currently have a mechanic/rigger (Macguyver stuff) and a strong man with martial arts skills and a station wagon where we will execute our operations incognito style. We are looking for someone with computer/ hacking skills, that also has other skills, like martial arts training. Must be physically fit and able to follow orders. We are also looking for a man or women with good looks that can charm the pants off someone, but must also be smart, quick witted, and have other skills..like communications or something beneficial to the team...like picking locks, carpentry,welding, sewing, a master of disguise...bilingual a plus!! Military training a plus!! Must have lots of connections. If you make the team you will be paid after jobs are finished. Some of the jobs we do will be pro-bono (not in favor of the U2 guy)...but certain jobs we take will be for free...but they will be for a good cause and we will get hugs from people we've helped..and probably a home cooked meal...hopefully some apple pie or something. Also we will be volunteering at the Food Bank this Holiday Season. Having you own tools is also a plus like grappling hooks, crossbows, night vision goggles, nextel 2 ways, binoculars, repeling gear, hearing devices, bug spray, life jackets. We also will be offering a dental and vision plan. Sign on bonus for the right candidates! Thank you!

Location: austin and beyond!!!
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $1000 based on experience
PostingID: 907522802

See Mommy Run (away from blogging responsibilities)

2008-08-05T16:27:00.000-07:00

Hi folks!
I'm done blogging....here....for a while...until the move to Austin is complete.

If you're still interested in reading about my running experiences, head over to See Mommy Run. I'm one of nearly dozen bloggers, so look for my "name" on the bottom.

A rip in time to a parallel universe?

2008-08-01T08:33:00.000-07:00

My 3 1/2 year old son was playing in the corner of our living room yesterday morning, squatting over his Legos. He was still in his pajamas, which include a diaper, when he called out that he wanted to put his "morning clothes" on. As I went to pick him up, I noticed a small puddle under him. I touched his pants, he was dry. I felt his legs; they were dry, too. Being a mom, I stuck my finger in the puddle and smelled it. It was indeed urine, but the boy was completely dry. I asked him if he peed there and he said no.

I carried the boy into his room, helped him get dressed and then followed him to the kitchen as he ran to get paper towels. In the 4 minutes that we were away from the puddle, it vanished. Completely gone. No trace of moisture, no scent of urine.

No one else was home and it couldn't have evaporated. The boy has witnessed the small puddle and, too, wondered where it had gone. And although there are many a times that I have placed wishes for these kind of messes to go away on their own, it's a little freaky when it actually happens.

BMI

2008-07-19T19:53:00.000-07:00

Jessica is "overweight" -- and a triathlete.

View Lucysol's map

Taken in a place with no name (See more photos or videos here)

5'6"
155 lbs.
BMI 25

Been feeling a bit crappy today, then stumbled upon this flickr site by Kate Harding. It posts 100+ photos of people, listing their height, weight and BMI. It lets you know if they are "normal," "overweight," "obese," or "morbidly obese."

BMI is bullshit.

But just like "8 glasses of water a day," BMI is easy to grasp, so it's idea spreads like wildfire...then it is hard to contain. It can be used to generalize, but says little about your actual health.

Unplanned arm workout

2008-07-15T12:52:00.000-07:00

Back home again!
I've been in Sunny Portland, Oregon (Eureka! I hit the 2 weeks of summer jackpot! Funny, it rained in Miami the entire time I was gone. Good Karma?)

My running was limited but my training was intense. I hit the Portland hills just once in running shoes, for a short 30 minutes. It was all I had dreamed. Alas, no sitter for the rest of the trip.
But for 9 other days, I carried my 43" tall, 45 pound three year old for hours and hours and hours. I now have arms and shoulders of steel.

More to share later, but here's a nice child carrying trick I figured out: If your child falls asleep and you must carry him/her but your arms are dying....put your backpack on backwards over the child, it will hug him/her next to you and give your arms a break.

?

2008-07-02T16:36:00.000-07:00

Random thought:
Wearing my hair in a ponytail/pulled back for 30 years has made the middle of the back of my (incredibly straight) hair permanently wavy.

With that note - I'm going on vacation. Hope to run a few miles in the cool Oregon air. Bummed that I'll miss the Olympic Trials in Eugene, though.

I broke up with running

2008-06-20T09:36:00.001-07:00

I broke up with running, just like the ads say.

We saw too much of each other, day after day.

And then when I got sick, it didn't nurse me like I expected. Up until that point, running always made me feel better: my health and self-esteem. I started to resent running.

Miami spring days turned molten and soggy - running didn't make me happy anymore. The time on my watch dripped by and each step drained me. I tried the treadmill at the gym, but the halogen lights made our affair seem so contrived. I tried signing up for races to be inspired, but they came and went without sparking anything.

So I stopped. I rested. I cleansed my system. Then I watched it rain for three days. In the height of the storm, in torrential monsoon rains, I decided it was time to run again.

I am in love again.

Nice Side Effect

2008-06-11T15:04:00.000-07:00

Ever since giving birth (over 3 years ago), I've been weepy.

I weep when I see Publix commercials, I weep at the news, I weep when I see little kids holding up signs that say "Run Mommy Run." No kidding, I have to fight back real tears 15-20 times a day over the minutest of things. When I know no one is around, I let 'er rip, but that is rare these days.

I have had to suppress the urge to cry zero times since I started fasting. Weird, like birth left some Tear Toxin in me and I've been able to "eliminate" it.

Cleansing

2008-06-10T18:30:00.000-07:00

I've been absent, well, because I haven't had much to say. Times, they are a stable. Which reminds me of an old saying: "Is it a blessing or a curse to be given just enough?"

So, I thought I'd shake things up a bit by detoxing my body. By detoxing, I mean feeding myself nothing but a mixture of lemon juice, syrup, water, and cayenne pepper for 5 days and waiting for the "eliminations." Honestly, I hope to figure out why I've been nauseated for 2 1/2 years since the doctors can't.

Last week, starting Monday, I prepped by abstaining from all kinds of caffeine, including coffee. To say that I live and love coffee can be summed up in two ways: a) I have a tattoo of a coffee cup b) I was raised in Seattle (where my high school had an espresso cart before anywhere East of the Columbia River did). It was horrific. The hours I wasn't asleep, I was wishing I was dead...and I think maybe my family was, too. It wasn't until Saturday (day 6) that I was able to be somewhat normal.
On Sunday evening, I ran a 5K race in a decent time, but I was really struggling. I had a banana post-race and began my "fast".

I've made it two days now and am doing alright. I'm not starving, rather, I feel like there are 40 hours in a day. When I remove food from my life (whether it is baking, preparing meals, going out to lunch/dinner or having snacks), there is a tremendous hole.

Anyway - my mind is clear as a bell, which is unusual, especially without caffeine. A few more days to go. Can I survive the boredom?

it's virginia hot

2008-05-20T17:46:00.001-07:00

it's Virginia hot and the Everglades' fires have sent the ashy snow over the town
making it smell like a festival,
like home.
but i don't mind sweating while sitting still;
it makes me feel human,
sultry.
it makes me think of swimming in the Rivanna River at midnight,
steam blurring the treeline,
black snake passing in a figure 8;
when i was still invincible.
the heat muddles our attempts at beauty,
taking the advantage away from the sculpted.
time moves slower,
except for the folks in the air-conditioning who buzz away doing chores
looking out in pity,
or disdain,
at us poor folk plodding in the wet air.
they are crisp,
but unseduced.

photo stolen off of mike caron's flickr

Southern Hospitality

2008-05-10T09:32:00.000-07:00

My Country Music Nashville Half Marathon Story can be found over here.

Cafecito

2008-05-10T09:23:00.001-07:00

In college, I was introduced to an "up and coming" author named Julia Alvarez.
I've followed her work ever since and gone to see her speak when she has come to Miami.

So, I was surprised to stumble upon a previously unread book in the library a couple weeks ago. It was tiny, just 40 pages or so, called A Cafecito Story. Essentially, it's a story about how one gringo was inspired to continue the "old ways" on a coffee plantation in the Dominican Republic. The afterward explains how this tale, although not true, was loosely based upon Julia's and her husband's own experience - and how they have a farm, Cafe Alta Gracia, that continues the old way in addition to serving the farmer's community.

As if it wasn't already inspiring to a conscientious coffee addict, I was shocked to find out it was actually a lot cheaper than the conventional coffee I normally buy.

And it's true what Julia says:

"Coffee tastes better when birds sing over it."

(confidential to AtlantaMom: thanks for checking on me. I'm fine...just offline for a while)

Item 22

2008-04-15T19:38:00.000-07:00

of my 101 in 1001:

Run a 5K in less than 9 minutes per mile

now reads:

~~Run a 5K in less than 9 minutes per mile~~ 27:30

I must add, I was pushing my 45 pound son in a stroller on a WINDY day.

When I PR, I do it in style.

Thanks a million (...tears)

2008-04-14T12:29:00.000-07:00

I'd like to give my thanks the 60 something old man in the white convertible who slowed down to ensure I'd hear him yell "You're STUPID" while I was crossing the street.

You were that final drop that let me cry it all out.

Cry about not being pregnant again, for the 13th month in a row of trying.

Cry about fucking every single thing up this morning at work and having my new boss ridicule & belittle me.

Cry about being settled for the first time in life and then the Gods shaking that up and telling me to move.

Cry because I've been wanting to for weeks, but all these other little cracks in the damn weren't enough to take it down...

until on an already disheartening day that began at 4am...again...you vocalized how I've been feeling about myself.

One Reason...

2008-04-10T08:54:00.000-07:00

...I love clay:

Recycling with my feet.

On! On!

2008-04-04T20:04:00.000-07:00

Last Friday night
8:15pm - Gathering in the glow of a side street's lamp post, about 20 folks hovered, handing around a clipboard and studying enigmatic icons on the wall. A kitchen timer was set for 13 minutes, entrusted to a guy with a pocket, then activated before two women went scurrying in opposite directions. Dressed in black, saddled with packs & headlamps, the two met up a few blocks away, squatting at every intersection to mark up the ground with chalk. They wove through the hip urban sidewalk cafes, barged past tourists, and disappeared down a Ficus-lined street.

Just beyond the coral church, they unveiled the night's first cache: a keg of beer & cups. Looking at their watches with cups in hand, they were confident in their lead and agreed to slow their pace. They nodded to the late night dog walkers, even chattering & shuffling to appear harmless. Street after street, they laid the course in chalk: real trails with encircled arrows, false trails with frowns and checks backs with encircled plus signs. They ran past haunting old Florida homes with elaborate gardens, and Spring Breakers lost in the labyrinth of side winding avenues. Up ahead, they saw a familiar face...and the second table of supplies propped in a friend's yard: oranges slices, bananas, and more beer. By their 3rd cup, they had miscalculated their lead. In the very near distance, the pounding of 40 feet could be heard. A dozen flashlights could be seen turning the corner, descending on the two like a lynch mob.

For a half mile, the women sprinted, having only enough extra energy to scream once. They clung to their rattling bags and abandoned a fallen headlamp. With hearts pounding, they looked back to notice they were alone again. In order to keep that lead in the last mile, they had to slow the others down. Squatting, one drew a triangle and instructions for the hunters to sing. A little bit down the path, the other drew a triangle and directed them to sit for 60 seconds. The commands continued, back through town, past the singles bars, past the adult kickball league, past the random Spring Breakers handing out jello shots (why, yes, thank you, I would love one!), past the sailing club and the marina.

There they stopped. They wiped the chalk off their clothes, giggled about the adventure, swayed to the cover band on waterfront patio and waited for the hounds to buy them a beer.

capitulo siguiente

2008-04-01T16:05:00.000-07:00

En quatro mas meses, decire adios a esta ciudad. Nos moveremos al centro de Tejas.

Miami Intl Triathlon

2008-03-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

I had a crappy race. My first really crappy race.

It wasn't even goal induced (My aim was to "Not get last in my age" and I came in 8th out of 14). I started when I sensed their disorganization at early packet pickup and it came to a head when they announced they'd pushed back start time 35 minutes. I did not enjoy myself - it's a shame, because the course was beautiful.

I race because I love the excitement in the air; because being in the presence of superior athletes inspires me to push myself harder. I like checking out other people's tricks and hearing their stories. I like sipping out of little cups of water and pretending to pump myself up to cliche classic rock. I like waking up obscenely early and accomplishing something before my husband has even walked the dog. I like hanging my shiny new medal on my three year old when I get home and trading race stats with my friends.

What I don't like is paying for the beta race version. It was the inaugural race, so there were kinks to work out, but everything just seemed to rub me the wrong way...including the $90 entrance fee.

Early packet pickup - I arrived a half hour after it was supposed to be open. Son in tow, I drove 30 minutes to get there (pushing his nap time back so I could run in and grab the packet.) The packet folks arrived an hour after me...but they didn't bring the ankle chips. "Pick that up at the Expo" they said. (uh, what's the point of early pick up if I have to go to the expo anyway?) At Friday's Expo, they were going to charge me $5 to park (thankfully I knew the parking volunteer) then expected us to walk through abandoned area with broken glass everywhere. They advertised "Kids activities like face painting and bounce house" - nothing, just broken glass on the sandy shore. They excluded instructions explaining where all the numbers, etc go. I had to ask friend. Not much of a big deal, all this, but just slightly inconvenient. I skipped the Pasta Dinner because I just had a bad feeling it wasn't going to be worth the effort.

Race Morning - They switched parking lots from expo (okay, a little confusing, since part of the expo is casing out your "Race Morning Plan"), we had to park far away and pay $5 for it (school parking lot - not even a public/private parking lot - WTF? why not just put it on my race price of a gazillion dollars?). I'm glad I got there early since I hadn't expected the extra 10 minute pitch black walk.

I get to transition area at 6:15 am (first race at 7, my race schedule for 7:32,), I'm told I have 3 minutes to set my stuff and get out. Wha? The paper said transition area closes at 6:45! I have to rush to set up everything, get out and stand around in a jagged parking lot littered with broken glass for 45 minutes in just my suit? Not happy. I begged them to let me at least go back in and get my flip flops.

So then I realize there is no water ANYWHERE in waiting area - thank god I brought my own....oh, too bad it's locked up in transition area. Man, I'm getting thirsty. Maybe I'll just go wait in line to use the restroom to take my mind off of it. A girl comes out and says there is NO toilet paper in ANY of the 10 toilets we're waiting in front of....this is at 6:30. Okay, now I'm getting angry. Maybe I'll check out the ocean, get a few strokes in away from the start/finish. "GET OUT OF THE WATER." Alright, jerks.

I didn't eat that morning because I had it all timed out. Drink coffee pre-race, swim at 7:30, have first gu right after. It's what I do. 7am they announce my race has been pushed back to 8:05am...after the hot hot Florida sun has come up. Damn, I'm thirsty now. And I'll be hungry by 8, but my SNACKS ARE LOCKED UP IN TRANSITION AREA!!!!!!!

I'm done with the race before I even started. I was so dizzy and angry that I couldn't focus. Yes, I did better than expected, but I aimed way low. About as low as the Race Director.

Blogwise, this is what's on my mind....

2008-03-10T19:54:00.001-07:00

You can make your own Word Cloud by going here.

The Not-So-Obvious List of How to Pack for a Music Festival with a Small Child

2008-03-08T19:16:00.000-08:00

Taking a small child to a festival can sound pretty scary. There's the heat, expensive unhealthy food, the question of napping and all the freaky people (if it's a good one). But I think it's really rewarding to dance in a field with your child, if you are prepared. In fact, I substituted it for my long run on Sunday.

While looking online to see if I'd forgotten anything, I found no help in getting ready. So, in a change from my usual posting, I've decided to write down a few things I've learned in the last 3 years of parenting-at-festivals. In addition to the usual (sunblock, water, hat), these few items can fit into a backpack (except the final two, of course).

(random video from youtube, this cute boy isn't mine)

Food: I don't care that festivals don't allow food. I always pack a small lunch box, aim for the security queue with a woman who looks like a mother and hope she'll know there is no joy is spending 12 hours with a toddler living on corndogs & coke. An apple, a banana, a PBJ, ziplock bag of raisins/nuts/dried fruit, an applesauce & mini spoon, a few boxes of Parmalat (boxed milk), water cup. Add a granola bar for you or whatever you need to keep you from your own melt down when you're tired and sick of waiting in the burrito line for 45 minutes. Bringing food for your kid is legit - they know you'll still spend money on beer and kettle corn.
Earplugs/Studio Headphones: It's so very loud, even in the back, so cover those ears so you have at least the option of heading up front with the wee one. Great for naps, too. If you don't have studio headphones or Bose sound canceling headphones, bring several pairs of the foam plugs since they are easy to lose (and oh so cheap, and I guarantee you'll be asked by another desperate-looking mother if you've got extra).
2 changes of kids clothes in Gallon Ziplocks: tightly folded in large ziplock - put everything in it's own ziplock. When the chaos of the fest hits, individual see through bags make it easy to sift through. The ziplocks can be used to hold trash later.
Pajamas: tightly folded in large ziplock. Dress kid in PJ's as you leave venue & pray for sleep on ride home. Leave 'em in the car if the walk/ride back to your ride isn't too long.
Blinky Light: Put on kid when sun starts to go down and so (s)he won't beg you to buy a $12 glow toy.
Camera/Cell phone/Pen: Take photo of kid when you get to fest so if/when (s)he gets lost you say to staff (s)he looks exactly like this. I have a ribbon that has our info on it that I safety pin to the back of my kid's clothes and when I forget it, I just write my phone number on his arm.
Folding Beach Mat: I've recently discovered the absolute beauty of one of these folding mats. Not only is it totally compact & easy to fold, but you can sit in wet grass without getting wet. And if it rains or gets mud on it, it cleans up and dries quickly.
Small squirt Bottle: Because it's hot & water makes it tolerable. Besides, it's an activity.
One small imagination toy: like a truck, a couple matchbox cars, an inflatable ball, doll, or a shovel.
Jogging stroller: You need giant wheels to get you through the grass, mud and rugged terrain of a festival. You need a place for your child to nap. You need instant shade. If emptied of valuables, it can be left anywhere. No one is going to steal it (people leave tents, blankets and chairs near stages, your stoller is no different).
Prepped Car: Leave behind in the car a bottle of water (because you'll never be able to find water once you leave), bedtime stuff (blankie/animals/box of milk) and change of clothes for you . Keep an extra snack/sandwich/munchie for the ride home. You might want to have wipes (for a hippie bath) and a pillow.

Anyhow - If it sounds like a lot, it really isn't. I haven't ventured camping at a fest with my boy, yet, but that's more because I can't talk his dad into it. And of course, I only have one, so I'm sure it's easier than it would be with more children.

I'm curious to learn your "Big Event" packing strategies. Go on, share....HERE.

The Motivator

2008-03-01T10:03:00.001-08:00

Last night, my three year old was a HERO.
He was applauded and cheered for.
He inspired dozens and dozens of people to push themselves harder than they thought they could.
He motivated a 30-something athletic man to run a bit faster than he planned on.
He helped shave 3 minutes off a young woman's Personal Record.
How?
He sat patiently in his stroller as I raced an 8K.

Nothing motivates runners to pick up their pace like being passed by a stroller.

(thanks to Vancouver Dad for the photo)

Third Time's a Charm

2008-02-21T14:57:00.001-08:00

Three half marathons, in 4 months.
First (November), a wee bit slow because of sore foot.
Second (January), I was pace leader so I had to stay put.
Third (February), I blew my PR out of the water by almost 14 minutes.

Hoorah for me.

March is a Sprint Triathlon with a half mile swim (WTF?)

April is half marathon number four.

May....who knows.

My Baby

2008-02-20T16:24:00.000-08:00

He woke up, slid out of my bed and pitter-pattered into the living room. He is three, but when he crawled into my lap on the recliner and let me rock him, he was my infant again. Sleepy eyed, he stared off towards the ceiling for several minutes and I thought he might fall back asleep.
His hand came up, as if to stroke my cheek but instead, he slammed it into my nose.

H-O-N-K!

iFriends

2008-02-11T12:00:00.000-08:00

Chit-chatting on my long runs with the folks in my training group invigorates me. It takes my mind off perceived effort and makes the miles seem shorter. Often times, one decent story (say, how my friend's son has given up diapers yet isn't quite potty trained) can last a mile. And once the tears dry up after learning that the little boy just wanted access his penis "so it dodn't faw aff," I can look around and say "Whoa, we're already on Main St!"

A few months ago, I found some iFriends (to coin a phrase), for my solo running days. While searching for free stuff on iTunes, I stumbled upon a podcast called the Extra Mile. It's a bunch of runners from all over the globe that submit stories & running updates, recorded while they are running. Some are advanced, some brand new, but all have that slightly stecato speech that you get when you converse on the trail. I love it. And it trips me out when I hear a car coming, then look around to find an empty street followed by the runner announcing "Hold on, I've got to cross this intersection." Most of the episodes run around 60 minutes (pardon the pun), so I can stretch a 45 workout into an hour with less mental resistance. They accept submission from practically anyone, so if I ever figure out how to carry a recorder in my bra, you might hear my voice one day...and we can advance from being e-friends to iFriends.

We Are Sorry

2008-02-10T18:43:00.000-08:00

*And Thanks to Gwadzilla

"Strong" Coffee

2008-02-06T18:09:00.000-08:00

Out the window, a Sysco truck parked mid-street caught my attention. The driver opened the back, rolled out a dolly with vegetable boxes stacked 10 high. I watched him disappear into truck again, leaving his stack balanced on the tailgate.

So from 30 feet away, sitting on the sofa of the bookstore, coffee in hand, indie music on the speaker above, I blew.

One quick puff of air directed at the boxes...and they toppled over.

Once...in Ireland

2008-02-03T20:17:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, a decade or so ago, I lived on the streets of Ireland.
I was a rebellious young woman with dreams of being an artist. Hopeless romanticism, curiosity and stubbornness quickly turned me into a Starving Artist. I sold Big Issue and made jewelry & sculptures out of found objects -life wasn't easy or as I'd hoped. My adventures led me to an Irish mandolin player in County Clare who healed and then broke my heart.

Naturally, I related to this film...

...but the fact that my husband loves and is inspired by this film, reminds me I am a "right feckin' loowkey gerl." I'm in a good place now.

Campfire

2008-01-22T11:23:00.001-08:00

For the last week or so, I've dug through the trash piles of neighbors and the depths of empty lots to find firewood. Dry wood is a pretty rare find in the Tropics, so I ended up cutting up 3 Christmas trees to create a campfire for my friends. It's a miracle my neighbors didn't call the police. Taking saw to limbs and digging a fire pit is instinctual for me, a major part of my old life in the woods. In Miami, it's freakish...or worse (gasp), for laborers! Why not just buy fake logs from Publix, I was asked half a dozen times by different people.

But then my mind wanders to what the question probably means: Why not just do the campfire in the fireplace? Or why not just use candles? Why bother lighting them? Why not just make S'mores in the microwave and watch Everyone Loves Raymond on the couch?

I found that contentment is not counted only by weekends, it's counted by the minute. Gambling on later rather than now often ends in disappointment or hallow satisfaction when things do go as planned. Getting dirt under my fingernails is therapeutic and growing blisters on my hands is humbling. When the match is struck and the fire lights, the whole experience is there: the cutting, the hauling, the digging, the stacking, the tending.

I'm reminded of the "craft kits" management ordered from Oriental Trading at a summer camp where I worked: These cute packages that each kid glues A to B and B to C. Voila! They can take home a fancy token that took no skill or thought...only the kids would often leave them in the craft lodge. Their ugly baskets or bead necklaces always went home. There is more value in what you create than what you manufacture.

Anyhow, I really needed the downhome, hanging out around a fire: even if it's 75 degrees out with scattered showers. It was good for my soul. It was humbling and made my hair smell like pine. And the whole experience gave my neighbors something to gossip about.

Daughters of the American Revolution

2008-01-08T12:40:00.000-08:00

Since I believe that one must never be so set in her ways that she denies herself the chance to learn a new perspective, I set out to meet the not-so-young women of the Daughters of the American Revolution this morning. While my undying father prepares for his death, he passed down a folder of papers linking us to a soldier in the American Revolution. I found my Great Aunt Mary's DAR membership card for the Biscayne Chapter, and I learned my 2nd cousin Myra partakes in South Carolina.

They do what?

Other than tracing their ancestry to warriors, I am not so certain my role in this Club. Do I have profound respect for the military? Not so much. Am I proud that my Great Great Grandfather's Last Will & Testament bequeaths his "nigger-girl" to his son? Emphatically NO. Can I hold my hand over my heart and actually sing all the words to America the Beautiful? Not without a detectable amount of sarcasm.

Since I had to bring and attend to my wiggle-happy son, my information gathering consisted of: a. DAR plays a very active role volunteering with Veterans; and b. they have a remarkably attentive Minutes taker (whose rendition of last month's 2 hour meeting took 20 minutes to report). Is this something I should be involved in (see #10)? After all, if things keep moving towards Theocracy and the Caste system here in the United States, I might be changing my passport. But then again, just because I don't like the cover of a book, doesn't mean I won't bother checking it out.

Let's see what I learn.

Running Pains

2007-12-27T20:12:00.000-08:00

I awoke at 5am to the sensation of a lightning bolt striking my spine. Proceeding this event, a cup of water tumbled onto the side of my pillow while my son was falling off my bed. The jolt that shot me out of bed actually ended up keeping me in there most of the day. My head's turning radius diminished to near nil and the soreness locked down half of my back.

But after icing and heating and icing and heating and rubbing and heating and stretching and heating, my legs took over. I laced up and went for an easy run hoping that would turn my evening around. As my husband saw me leave he yelled "be careful" but I know he was thinking it is okay to take a sick day, even on a running day.

And as I waddled through my neighborhood, involuntarily looking straight ahead, I began to ponder how healthy this running addiction really is. As predicted, the endorphins kicked in around 8 minutes, numbing the throbbing in my head that 8 Advil couldn't. My pounding feet weren't exactly massaging my neck, but my morphine was being released and I could finally deal with the pain the way I wanted to. It got me thinking that perhaps there is another angle to the story how runners live longer. Running doesn't just strengthen your heart and bones, or fight cancer and diabetes, or simply diffuse anger.

Running makes you more tolerant of pain.

Between the feet aches and the muscle aches, the ice packs and the ice bathes, the sunburns and sweat in the eyes, shin splints and physical therapies, the blisters and bunions, the sports tape and its removal, the nasty-tasting gels and nutrition bars, the swollen knees and throbbing IT band...running hurts. But we keep getting out there because of (among other things) the endorphins; they make it possible to do more under harder conditions.

And as we age, it's no secret that our bodies fall apart. No matter how much you workout, ingest or tuck, the aches and pains just keep coming. But I think what separates those just waiting to die and those actively creating a few more worthy memories is the ability to deal with the pain. Perhaps it's having the running drug itself, or just the confidence to know that 'you've pushed your body before so you can do it again.' Whatever it is, the need to do a few miles was more powerful than my mother's voice in my head saying "sleep it off." My neck is still stiff, but I feel good.

Filling in

2007-12-20T07:04:00.000-08:00

My dentist had me scheduled to replace a filling yesterday. He would have to give me a localized numbing shot and refill my prescription for the big fat NSAIDs. I dropped the boy off at preschool and drove over the Key Biscayne Bridge. The day was going to suck, not only is my head going to hurt, but it'll be my 3rd day in a row without a run. And driving over my favorite training spot was just rubbing salt into the wound.

You didn't get my message? Oh, honey, the doc had to switch you to January. I'm so sorry you drove all the way out here for nothing.

Ahhh...the Gods must run, too. My shoes were in the car.

Endurance

2007-12-14T06:48:00.000-08:00

Down in the basement of my gym, I am a part of an elite team known as "Swimmer." My membership of this group is not merit based, certainly not, no one would confuse me for "experienced." Rather, I am simply one of a handful of people who actually use the pool.

I find it spectacular - in a four lane pool, I've never seen more than 3 swimmers. I have thus combined my swim workout with my meditation time. My concentration is normally only broken when I hear someone drop a massive dumbbell onto the ground, which is the ceiling, above me. In this under-the-table, "I know a guy in Hialeah that can do it on the cheap," permit -optional city of mine, I sometimes have visions of the 2nd floor of the gym crashing down into the all-but-empty swimming pool...and a guy from the wrecking crew 2 weeks later yelling to his buddies "Hey, I found a swim cap- was there someone down here?"

So despite that sporadic thought, I love spending my 45 minutes there. Often times, it is my goal to just outlast the occasional dipper who comes out for 5 - 10 minutes of laps. As of yet, I've never gotten into the pool after someone and gotten out before they have. I'm vain like that. On Wednesday, I decided it's time I step up my routine; from one mile in 35 minutes, to whatever I can accomplish in 60 minutes. I was doing well, feeling good at 30 minutes and then a guy got into the pool.

He did a couple laps, pausing to stretch for long periods of time in between before trying a couple more. After gaining the equivalent of a 3rd grader while pregnant and struggling for many months to regain my strength, I've learned never to make any sort of judgement about other athletes, even those one might insist on calling "athletes." They might be having a bad day, be coming off an injury, struggling with a life threatening disease, whatever it may be -all I know is they are trying. So here's this 30 something man, the only other soul in the pool, putting along. And then he stops, just about the time I'm getting tired yet I have 10 more minutes. But he doesn't get out of the pool, he sits on the steps and he watches me. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And suddenly, this "Elite Swimmer Team" I'm on no longer seems that cool. The very rare chance of someone else coming into the basement isn't as relaxing. The idea that I'm working harder than I have in a long time and am on the verge of exhaustion doesn't seem so wise.

I start judging. Only, I don't think he's recovering from an injury or having a bad day...I think he's watching me tire myself out, like a wolf waiting until the deer is too weak to run. It scares me, more than the dumbbells up above, but not enough to get out of the pool.

I kept swimming, because he doesn't know I'm an endurance athlete. Despite feeling like I couldn't take another step at Mile 23 on my marathon, I finished. After seven drug free hours of labor, I bore my child and walked out of the birthing center 4 hours later. I've lived on the streets for a year, I've cried for 12 miles, I've finished a 4 year university in 3 years. I am an ENDURANCE HUMAN.

And I outswam him.

Three

2007-12-12T20:24:00.000-08:00

For the last 10 months, I was a bit overconfident in the idea that I just might have some natural talent for creating another being. Really, I've been two-timing Luck and Manifest destiny, pretending that if I bought that size four dress and committed to being a half marathon group leader for 5 months, certainly I'd get pregnant! It affected me in subtle ways I'm just now understanding.

Among other (more important) things, it's impacted my training. I've become overly cautious, perhaps not working as hard as I should. Even the 1/2 training pace I volunteered to take is comfortable, not really challenging. Certainly, I've procrastinated registering for races too far in advance for fear of the "No Refunds" policy.

No more. I'm taking charge again. I'm going to work my butt off, pushing farther, going faster, because, damn it, I want to. I have the time. I have the motivation. I need the distraction.

I officially signed up for the ING 1/2 (like I should have 5 months ago when it was half price) and I've got my eye on a long distance Triathlon in March. I don't expect to place in the top 2/3s, but I do expect to finish.

12 miles

2007-12-10T06:20:00.000-08:00

The morning I was supposed to lead my group to their first 12 mile run - I stayed in bed. I turned my 4:45 am alarm off and let my body ride the handful of Valium I had taken the night before. And for the first time, I didn't feel guilty about missing a run - I couldn't spend over two hours with acquaintances and not lay bare that my good news had come and gone so quickly.

I waited until the afternoon when my son was sleeping, then went on my own - twelve miles: my recovery run. Six miles of crying, until I crossed the Big Bridge overlooking the bay: people waterskiing, sailboats with sunbathers, dozens of families fishing. I saw five spotted rays. The endorphins were kicking in and I felt myself healing. I turned around to go home to my beautiful son and amazing husband. They are enough for me.

Running for one

2007-12-07T18:33:00.000-08:00

For a little more than a week now, my body has been playing tricks on me. Or perhaps it just pitied me and tried to throw me a well-meaning bone of hope. From the halting of my rhythmic calendar to feeling the waves of the pool even after I get out, I thought I was running for two. Turns out, I'm still running for one.

I drink too much coffee

2007-11-30T06:29:00.000-08:00

Last night, my 2 year old found my bookmark and wrapped it around his sippy cup like a coffee sleeve.

"Look mama, I drink coffee, too!"

Space Coast Half

2007-11-28T11:32:00.000-08:00

Although I trained for and ran a marathon last January, and although I have kept up a somewhat respectable training routine since then, Sunday was my first official half-marathon. I was timid, mostly because my left foot has been aching; a mysterious soreness that seems to alternate between my plantar and my achilles. Basically, I feared that a long run at race pace might knock me out of the sport for a while. No one has ever confused me for being Kenyan, so it wasn't a huge shift to slow to a 12 minute mile or slower.

I drove up to Cocoa for a warm Florida race that unveiled a new theme this year: Space. From the countdown of the Space Shuttle on the jumbotron at the start, to the alien costumes running past me, the excitement was in the air. I even saw dolphins twice along the Indian River route. Without the lust for a PR, I was able to pay attention to the moment and really enjoy running for running's sake. After feeling fine at the turn-around, I started to pick it up a bit. By the last 5K, I was full of energy and inspiration. I was passing people left and right, even skipping my intervals with little effort. All was well, I had made up lots of time and was ending up a little faster than predicted.

When I came around the corner of the public park, the crowd went wild. Not only did I have the regular race photographers snapping away, I had video cameras surrounding me. People were clapping and yelling "Looking good!" I felt like a million bucks....until I hear a bicycle approaching from being and a man yelling "Get out of the way!!!!!"

Thirty-three year old, Ezekiel Ruto, was hurtling towards me and quite possibly would have mowed me over had the "Lead Runner" biker not come through. Ezekiel was completing the full marathon just about the time I was finishing the half. Still, it was a great race. And basking in the winner's glory for 25 seconds was nice, too.

6.2

2007-11-22T08:12:00.001-08:00

Six a.m., my wristwatch alarm goes off, and I roll out of bed trying not to wake anyone up.
I push the button to start the coffee brewing and change into my clothes not-so-neatly arranged the night before by the front door. Ten minutes later, I'm driving to meet up with 2000 other folks from the community for what may be my favorite family get together of the day. Even though it's a race, I endure more stress and competition from a Thanksgiving Meal than I do a Turkey Trot.

I am so thankful for discovering running...aches and all. With a sore foot, this morning wasn't an all out sprint, or even as quick as my regular pace. It was about seeing the hundreds of people whom I've met along the trails. It was about getting a jump start on all the calories I'm about to consume. It was about flooding my body with enough happy endorphins to hold me through the entire day with the relatives on Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving

LOL

2007-11-11T19:20:00.000-08:00

Not amused by my site?
.....perhaps dis is more yer stylz

Note to Miami Drivers:

2007-10-18T08:36:00.000-07:00

I'm not saying Hello from my bike - I'm turning right.
You should know better than to think it would be a friendly gesture, we're not in Oregon.

(Although, I do understand turn signal sightings are somewhat foreign, more so than the elusive thing called "friendliness" - stop trying to kill me).

1600 Meters

2007-10-10T15:19:00.000-07:00

My neighbor, when I was 6, was on the Olympic Swim Team. My mother convinced this young man to come over to our house and work on the swimming skills of my older brothers' and I. Mostly what I remember is that he made me do too many laps and I had to choose which side I was going to breathe on. He doesn't get swimming, I thought. He only enjoys going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Where is the joy in that?

Years later, long after swimmers started being taught to breathe on both sides, long after I could no longer could amuse myself for hours on end in the shallow end, and months after gaining the equivalent of a 6th grader while pregnant, I returned to swimming laps.

It took me a dozens of sessions a la snorkel & mask to relearn breathing both left and right while making my heart pump (although I never really got used to the looks at the gym). And it took applying my knowledge of Jeff Galloway's training method to convince myself I could cross the pool multiple times without drowning. A couple birthdays later when I started training for the sprint triathlons this summer, I was still pretty uneasy in the pool. I look forward to my runs, I enjoy taking my bike out, but going to the pool always seemed like homework.

But last week, it clicked. The runner's high morphed into the swimmer's high. Three months ago, I committed to defining a swim workout as a total of 1600 meters, roughly a mile. And twice a week, more or less, I've been plugging through, 100 meters of Freestyle, 100 meters of Breast Stroke (I think of it as Break Stroke, since I can catch my breath), followed by a 30 second break. Last week, by the time I was half a mile through, I was craving more - like the water was a drum and my arms were pounding out a jungle rhythm - Bom Bah, Bom-Bom Ba. I didn't want to stop, I could hear the song and needed to continue. I dropped the Break Strokes and replaced them with Freestyle. Bom Bah, Bom-Bom Ba. This is all at a stark contrast to what my swim usually is: Oh, dear god, I have 2 more laps before I get a break. Not last week. No, I understood my old coach's back and forth, back and forth.

Bom Bah, Bom-Bom Ba
Bom Bah, Bom-Bom Ba
Bom Bah, Bom-Bom Ba
Bom Bah, Bom-Bom Ba

I have to go swim......

Show You Care

2007-09-24T15:31:00.000-07:00

Did sending a check to the victims in Phuket leave you feeling a little empty? Did you feel like something was missing after collecting 47 cans of corn beef hash for the Khao Lak kids?
Perhaps not enough people knew you took the time to be anonymous. Now, show you care by showing off your Tsunami Merit Badge. Ahh, getting credit really does feel good.

Last Carrot Robbed

2007-09-19T15:13:00.000-07:00

Someone broke into the Last Carrot (aptly named, perhaps, for it's status as a unique Grove restaurant) last night. They busted a window in the door but couldn't manage to open the cash register. As a backup plan, they stole the register...not knowing it was empty.
Stores aren't foolish enough to not hide their money in a safe. Bummer they didn't they hit a corporation who has the finances to deal with idiots like them.

No respect for the Towniespeople

2007-09-10T05:14:00.000-07:00

I reside in Miami, in an area not yet devoured by highrises, but deep enough that the Postman and the Taxman agree it's urban. Though the locals comprehend bicycling for transportation as poorly as they do vegetarianism ("No, la sopa no tiene carne" "Isn't it made with chicken stock?" "Si"), I still attempt to do all my errands within a 3 mile radius a la Cruiser.

This Death Gauntlet has brought me a bit of self confidence while riding. If I can survive these unfit and abusive drivers, I believe I can take on tougher challenges. So I set forth this summer to hit the Sprint Triathlon series on the Key.

There, folks were decked out in their onsie Zoot suits, helmets shaped like melted gum drops, and high tech bikes whose one wheel cost more than my entire collection of stuff. Enter Crumbs stage right: Baby Blue Townie, with a rack to put my child's seat, big fat round mirror on the handlebar, and of course, a bell. Just out of curiosity, earlier that morning I held it on the scale: 35 pounds. I rode it in, back straight as a chair, legs comfortably forward in proper cruising position. They chuckled, so I thought I'd play along and ring my bell. Amusement morphed into pity. "Good Luck on the bridge" - I heard someone say.

Now, when people enter races with hundreds of people in it, how many think they are actually going to win? I mean, if you are one boasting 3% bodyfat, perhaps, but really, most of us enter to beat our best time, or go a distance we've never gone before. We go to socialize with other sportsmen and as an excuse to guiltlessly order a full stack of blueberry pancakes with real maple syrup afterward. We go to push our physical limits.

So, I take my 6 1/2 foot long bike and rack it alongside the 13 ounce jewels. I may not be able to keep up with the road bikes, but I'm doing the same course they are in decent time...only dragging 30 more pounds up the hills without the benefit of clips or aerodynamic positioning. I'm holding on to handlebars as wide as their wheels and riding tires fat enough to hide a dollar bill if I rode over it. There was never a moment I put any other riders in danger with my wide load.

I reached my goal: I improved my time, I competed as a Triathlete for the first time, I earned a little respect from a couple sportsmen who could appreciate my challenge.
So, ride on all you who ride for the joy and excitement, and nevermind the blockheads who think only fancy equipment makes you an athlete. In fact, I challenge ALL racers to have a go at the hills and bridges with a Cruiser. You just might feel more accomplished afterward. And the pancakes might taste better, too.

Favorite Signs around Coconut Grove

2007-08-28T10:39:00.001-07:00

Click on photos to enlarge them:

Magnetic sign on a car "Maroone is the master of the bait and switch"

"Slow for Turtles"

"No Basura..."

Sculptasaurus

Handpainted 20MPH sign

"Champion Runner's Dashboard Shrine"

Note to Self (as if they all aren't):

2007-08-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, August 22 I will test out number 66 of my 101 in 1001 , the Juice Fast.
I'm scared because I'll forgo my ritual morning coffee, something I've done only a couple times before. A few times when I was homeless in Utrecht and for the 9 months of my pregnancy. Both vastly different times, I couldn't contain my misery. Of course, both situations were uncomfortable in their own right and perhaps I'm unsure what truly triggered my sickness...but I'm pretty convinced I was victim of withdraw.
I'm also partially nauseated by the memory of cucumber/fennel/ celery juice experienced just today. Whew, but I'm going for a full day of juice tomorrow, as a first step. I'll see if this is when I take it 3 days in a row.
Really, the rewards from juicing: are less encouraging.

There are certain side effects that you may encounter when you commence your juice fast... can include headaches, nausea and dizziness as the blood receives waste toxins from your cells. You may also experience bad breath and a ‘furry’ tongue as the body attempts to expel toxins through the throat and mouth.

Update on Wednesday at 6:43. Late for a dentist appointment, I jumped out of bed and headed out the door immediately to get my tooth drilled & filled. Drooling, I raced across town to my next appointment, no chance to feed my body. At 1pm, I FINALLY got a chance to eat....well, drink. Seemingly all at the same time, my body realized it was starving, there wasn't a drop of caffeine and the tooth numbing agent had worn off. Today sucks...but I guess a good time to fast since I can't chew anyhow. Still can't contain my misery (poor family).

Will you?

2007-08-21T06:28:00.000-07:00

I wasn't the kind of little girl to dream of being swept off my feet with with an elaborate wedding proposal and I tend to distrust those who were. But I do appreciate people who think of happiness as a long term goal and take little steps each day to get there. When that chemistry is triggered within an artist, it's lovely for everyone to witness. So I don't really see this so much as an elaborate wedding proposal, rather Erato strikes again.

Miami

2007-08-17T21:08:00.000-07:00

Outside the Government Center, where the library and art museum meet, people are tucked into crevices, hiding in the shade, all clinging to one form or another of games of chance. They all look like times are tough so they invest their negligible cash in scratch off tickets or lottery cards because something’s got to change.
It’s got to be hard to appreciate the luxury of literature and seemingly frivolousness art when you’re depending on luck to get you though. Art is so vain in that respect. It makes dull lives richer, but it also flaunts how it’s perceived as more important than the common man, and for that, it can be shameful.

Inside the art museum, the mood is just as sullen. The artists themselves, I’d hope, would cringe at the cold policing of the exhibit. I’m with a toddler, and for that, my bags are searched and kept behind the desk, I’m followed closely and repeatedly reminded that he can’t touch anything, though he’s come nowhere near to doing so. We are the only patrons, yet I’m told my empty stroller is blocking something in the wide-open room. We are shooshed and moved along, told that we cannot use the stairs because “the boy could fall down and we’d be liable.” It is uncomfortable and insulting, not to mention uninspiring. Artists these guards are not. The vulnerable transformed into bullies by just a teaspoon of authority.

Actually, it was inspiring. Thinking how there are so many planes to living, one on top of the other, coinciding and coexisting in the oddest of ways: simpletons protecting the profound, poverty and wealth inches from each other, science demonstrated by the make believe. In fact, Miami just might epitomize the phenomenon of multi-layered.

But, this city’s outlook has always made me angry. It has a rude and callous nature so that instead of a culturally rich society, all I see is a mosaic of leftovers: a population of people who’ve run away from their shitty little countries or run away from the authorities or run away from the accepted social mores. There isn’t the sense of hope like in other immigrant rich cities such as New York or San Francisco. There is a feeling of resentment, distrust and a need for either revenge or retribution. It’s as if people think someone owes them and they don’t care who has to pay, just as long as someone does.

Truth is, I’ve hated this place for as long as I can remember. Probably from the time my dad packed his things and moved here without us, without even telling us until it was done. I’ve always hated the fact that my dad fell in love with the kind of town where people depend on lotto scratch offs for their hope, then think it’s okay to throw their new failure on the ground. And for a long time, that ugly face overshadowed any other Miami might have.

I know there is good here; I’m not so naïve as to believe that any town is one-dimensional. And of course, my husband and all the richness of his life here are an obvious example of how it’s right. Each day, this city reveals a little bit more beauty to me, or at least it’s intricacies. One or two nicer faces appear, like the hotdog vendor who saw me spill my café con leche on myself and handed me a napkin, or the incredible view from each of the Metrorail and Metromover platforms. Cranes litter the skies and sirens are as common (and annoying) as house music, but tucked away in the crevices of the skyscapes are personalities, proof that dozens of realities are superimposed on top of each other: painstakingly intricate architecture holding it’s shadow over crumbling men, a glass brick wall making you believe for a moment that the filth behind it might be beautiful, a crowded train platform overlooking a steady stream of cars – each with one passenger, virtually self-contained environments gliding past us without knowing we’re here, not sweating or hearing all the conversations. And the clouds before a rainstorm move so quickly over the city. They change the light and the temperature and thus, the mood of the place in just seconds. It’s a delicacy savored only in the moments you are not miserably hot.

And moment like right now, where the cool breeze makes it all tolerable. Perhaps the heat is what blinds me to the other dimensions. Perhaps my hatred is just the dripping sweat in my eyes, distorting what I see, just seasonal. Maybe I stay because for half of the year it cools off, my eyes open up. I discover something new and settle into a normal routine for a little while before summer hits again. Or maybe I hate this city because I remember hating this city. As a teen, I did not know the people or the buildings or the smells or the food; I just knew that the place in my heart that held anger also stored the name Miami. With that as my canvas, I’ve painted the rest of my experience here. It’s amazing that I ended up here anyway. I guess I guided myself here to heal my relationship with my father. Imagine if I can repaint over such anger or reinterpret the ugliness I think I see and call it art. I need to figure out how to not hate Miami, because otherwise, I’m just one of those pods of isolation driving down I-95.

My thoughts one year ago

2007-08-17T21:01:00.000-07:00

August 2006

I’m training for a marathon now. About 7 months ago, I started running with a group just to get back to feeling somewhat like myself. I didn’t want to feel so lethargic and devoid of inspiration any longer. So, I started going twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays. I didn’t think that I’d continue to run once the 2 month program was over, but I found myself really enjoying the pattern I was in. I guess it felt alright, you know, physically, but I think I was more into the scheduling of it. Twice a week, I was supposed to be somewhere at a specific time.

I think I’m aiming for the full marathon in January because there is a deadline, something to work towards, plan for, be in charge of. Since leaving work, I’ve realized the ironic truth of how vital deadlines are to my health and creativity. Without them, I float in time, not doing a damn thing for hours and days and weeks and months. I sit and watch my boy sleep, slightly panicky about when he might wake up, paralyzed by not knowing what I should be doing.

I picture when I was at work, dreaming of having the free time to paint, sculpt, write, workout, hell, even to keep the place cleaner. With my coffee buzz in the morning, I’d come up with seemingly magnificent specific projects to work on “the next time I have time.” And here I was, with SO much time, doing nothing….but stressing out about not coming up with a thing to do. So, I started to run.

And it is something for me, not my boy. And I run so that there is some purpose to my life, other than being a mother, which people so repulsively throw in my face how it is a noble ‘purpose,’ but the truth is, it is not a comprehensive life plan. Yes, once one is a mother, she is always a mother, but not on a daily basis. There will come a day when I am not folding little tiny shirts and helping him onto the swings…and I don’t want to stand there by myself saying, ‘what was it that I used to consider myself before I pushed his stroller?’ ‘what else, other than his infectious giggle and emphatic grunting, made me happy?’ I am a woman, a girl AND a mother and I will not reduce myself to just one of those. Roar.

It’s ridiculous, really. The thought of getting up at 5 am to drive the 4 miles south so I can run in a loop past my house only to get back into my car to drive home. And I’m paying for it. But as my old boss used to say, people place more value on the events that they have paid for. It’s true. I drag my butt up in the morning because I’ve put my money down and opened my big mouth about my plan to every family member and friend I have. So, now it’s my responsibility to work on and for…and it makes me feel good. I’ve worked projects into the cracks of time between workouts, too. Political baby Tee’s, refurbishing a stool, oil painting, started a mom’s group, and I’m doing a little writing. It’s a far cry from being an artist, but at least I’m giving my boy the chance to describe me as something more than “she doesn’t work.”

Two more bikers attacked for....not driving

2007-08-15T13:27:00.000-07:00

Miami traffic is brutal, not just because it takes 45 minutes to drive 5 miles...not just because stop signs & traffic lights are considered optional...not just because using your turn signal makes people speed up...not just because it's practically legal to turn right from the left turn lane...but because the drivers are malicious, human hating animals who's first language is "GimmeGimme."
God help you if you try to ride a bike so there is one less car on the road. You just might be attacked for it.

Update: Bike Blog just did a story

“Profits were comparable to cocaine trafficking, with none of the risks,” one investigator told me.

2007-08-15T12:45:00.000-07:00

We've been duped again. Okay, I don't like it, but I am not shocked when they find lead in nearly every item at the Dollar Store. Something's got to give when the price is so low. But, now we learn Olive Oil is routinely adulterated, even when it costs as much as $10 per ounce.